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EXCLUSIVE: The Rock in Rio Damage Control Memo

By Misnomer on Thursday, 23rd April 2015 12:23pm
  » filed under Las Vegas  comments: 9

   

Judging by our inbox, which is stuffed with offers to purchase Rock in Rio tickets at prices that seemingly fall by the day, the upcoming music festival is struggling to reach its attendance goal. We can only imagine some poor PR lackey is already toiling in a nondescript MGM Resorts office, carefully crafting the "resounding success" talking points memo that will be circulated should the event fall short of its attendance projections. Here, in a VegasTripping EXCLUSIVE, we offer a glimpse at that farcical, yet entirely plausible, memorandum.

MGM Resorts International April 23, 2015
MEMORANDUM Re: Attendance at Rock in Rio Festival
TO BE CIRCULATED ONLY IN THE EVENT THAT ATTENDANCE FALLS BELOW GOAL (WHICH SEEMS LIKELY)

The following are talking points that should be interjected into answers given in response to press inquiries as to the attendance at the Rock in Rio music festival. Spokespeople should be congenial, but remember to keep a stoic, emotionless expression at all times. Refer to photograph of Jim Murren, attached as an exhibit hereto.

"Rock in Rio was a resounding success. At no other festival in the world can guests engage so intimately with the artists."

"The festival received high praise for its immediate access to restrooms and concession stands."

"We were worried that capacity would be extremely strained throughout the event, but we were thrilled that customers could so easily and quickly park at, and exit, the festival grounds."

“We do concede that some festival patrons may have mistakenly gone to Rio. Nevertheless, they’re here in spirit, which counts.”

“Attendance, really, is a matter of perspective. I ask you, did they remember to count No Doubt's horn section? People tend to forget those guys because they're not on the album cover. But they count. The trombonist counts. So does the other trombonist.”

"At least we didn’t build a Ferris Wheel." [NOTE: SHOULD THE INTERVIEWER POINT OUT THAT WE DID BUILD A FERRIS WHEEL ON THE FESTIVAL GROUNDS, THE SPOKESPERSON SHOULD ASK TO BE EXCUSED, AND END THE INTERVIEW IMMEDIATELY.]

Huge thanks to Mr. Giggles for co-creating this nonsense!



Tagged: misomer   rock in rio   murren   





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Comments & Discussion:

The line up stinks. Coachella was two weeks ago. They have no one to blame but themselves.

The lineup is just good enough that I keep going through Bandsintown and having a thought process like:
"Taylor Swift? Well, okay, how mu-- Festival? Fuck that."

Life Is Beautiful causes this to happen to me all the time. I like bands, but I can't afford a 72 hours pass into Hipster Cultural Heaven to see, like, two acts. And they're making acts come through Vegas on tours less because, well, they did the music festival.

There's a good reason festivals like RIR and LIB were my nomination for the "STFU" Trippie last year.

The fact that they are nearly two weeks away from the first weekend and still having trouble selling tickets is not a good sign. The likely problem is that it's happening too soon after Coachella and too close to Bonnaroo to really get folks interested in the event, especially with a lineup that has been panned. (Shaky Knees Festival is happening in Atlanta the first weekend of Rock In Rio and they've got a better lineup even without having a huge band like No Doubt or Metallica.).

They'll have two years to get their shit together for the next edition of Rock In Rio USA and hopefully whatever lessons they year from the inaugural edition get applied to the next edition of it.

Does anyone think that they were a bit rambunctious with trying to have a huge first year? What music festival peaks in the first year? Seems that they all start small or moderately small then bloom a few years later.
I helped plan a local music festival, much smaller scale, like the best year was 20k. But in the early years, a few thousand came, then it progressively got larger.
I think an appropriate goal would be to break even in the first year, or not lose so much money you have to sell off some assets...

Insisting on pricy 2-day-only tickets for so long, plus inept booking for the rock weekend... I think we all saw this coming. RIR relied far too much on their reputation and the lure of Vegas itself. They will have to hit it out of the park for the next edition or risk permanent damage to the brand in America, even if it otherwise goes off without a hitch.

Sorry to see it's not selling too well. May 9th in particuar is the lineup Metallica should have had for their festival in AC a few years ago. That's some damn fine metal, and other acts.

Heh, I'm so clueless that when I got this in the mail I thought this was for a music festival at the Rio *resort*. I wonder how many other people on the MGM mailing list had the same reaction.

Just FYI, MGM is offering single day tickets for $99 to employees.
Hhhmmmmmm.

Even The D and the Golden Gate are offering room and ticket packages for Rock In Rio.



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