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Strained Metaphor Department: Video Poker is Bird Watching

By Misnomer on Friday, 16th May 2014 2:46pm
  » filed under Las Vegas  comments: 8


Recently, whilst touring Flamingo's pool gardens with fellow VT staffer and noted ornithologist JohnH, it occurred to me that my video poker play is not dissimilar from bird watching, a point I will attempt to illustrate graphically.

This is a picture of some pelicans. Not something you see everyday, typically. Certainly picture-worthy.

This is a picture of 4 Aces, dealt, on a three-line video poker machine. Also not something you see everyday. I took a picture to remember this hand of video poker.

Here we see a picture I took of some flamingos. In a typical year, I'd say I probably see no more than one or two flamingos. I took this picture to share with my friends and family, so that they could see some of the things I saw while in Las Vegas. I did not kill, nor did I eat, the flamingos.

Here is a picture of a straight flush, dealt, on a three-line video poker machine. It's pretty rare to have a hand like that dealt to you. I took this picture and posted it on Twitter to show my friends and family. I didn't keep any of the money that I won from this hand. I put it all back into the video poker machine.

This is an odd duck (I'm guessing). At any rate, I've never seen a duck quite like this one, so I figured I'd take a picture of it, and maybe show it to some folks to see if they'd ever seen one like it. So far, no one has. I didn't eat this duck either, even though ducks are delicious.

This is a picture of a rare four of a kind on a three-line video poker machine with a 10x multiplier bonus. Snapped a pic, put it on Instagram, recycled the money back into the machine.

So what's the point of any of this? Well, that's the question, isn't it? Why the hell am I still playing video poker when I rarely, if ever, have anything to show for it but a gazillion pictures of good hands on my iPhone? It's as if the obvious point of video poker - to win money - has been replaced with a desire to "get" good, rare hands, and then humble brag about them via social media. And that's just not smart. But that's the thing about self improvement... don't get me wrong, I plan on gettin' some soon.

Tagged: misnomer   video poker   


Comments & Discussion:

I'm not sure I comprehend with your environmentally friendly, catch and release strategy, but I will forevermore admire your sportsmanship.

I was sure there was going to be a lame duck joke somewhere in here.

I'd try to quack a joke, but my puns are fowl.

Misnomer, you are an odd duck indeed. Which is why I love you.

If you will note, there is not a photo of a Dodo Bird or a Royal Flush, because neither of them exist except in books......

And here I thought we were going to turn video poker into a duck hunting moment....

On the one hand, you're playing Double Bonus Poker which means you're chasing the quads, and that's a noble calling.

On the other hand, you've been seduced by the lure of the multi-line games. And you're posting pictures of ducks, flamingos, and pelicans.

That's junkie behavior my friend.

I only hope you can find your way back to your favorite VP bar and bartender and can once again enjoy the simple pleasures of VP the way it was meant to be enjoyed: one game at a time with a comped drink at the ready.

I find myself playing less and less VP, unless I really want to drink at the bar. Outside of taking a shot at a higher level and trying to hit a 4oak, or playing for the royal, I can understand your frustration with just playing to play.

I've found playing slots or table games, depending on the week has helped me break some of it up. For slots I start with a smaller buyin and if it's gone its gone, plus I at least hit an occassional win that is at least worth walking away with and although comps have tightened up at least I can still seem to find some room comps.

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