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You Too Can Play With Gene Simmons' Balls

By Chuckmonster on Wednesday, 24th April 2013 12:12pm
  » filed under Las Vegas  comments: 5


My friend and fellow KISS fan J.S.L went to Vegas a few weeks ago, theoretically for a family getaway, but really just to go play KISS Mini Golf. Nothing could stop him from filing this report with us. Take it away J!

Took my family to Vegas just to play mini golf?


But not just any mini golf, KISS mini golf! Located across the street from the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, KISS Mini Golf by Monster is an 18 hole glow in the dark mini golf course and it rocks... literally.

Me and my crew arrived at opening time 10am and were greeted on the red carpet by an enthusiastic employee who asked "Are you ready to rock"? We said yes, because we were.

When you first walk in you are instantly transported to the land of KISS, which for me was like returning to my childhood complete with sound track provided by the 'all-KISS-all-the=time-DJ' perched in a custom KISS DJ booth. The place is bursting at the seams with KISS memorabilia, everything for the casual or diehard fan.

Oh and there is also mini golf. The golf game play itself is extremely basic with no moving parts and very little difficulty. That being said... who cares! The DJ keeps things moving with music (some expected but also plenty of obscure tracks) trivia contests and challenges (best golf club air guitar etc) and the vibe is just so rocking that we smiled for 90 minutes straight. The props are amazing including a life size stage with animatronic KISS, a giant Paul Stanley boot and of course the 18th hole Gene Simmons giant face challenge - hit it straight up the tongue for a hole in one!

If you feel like leaving a note to future rockers, you are in luck because the bathrooms come complete with pens for writing on the walls! And of course what would any Vegas spot be without a wedding chapel where in this case you can be married by a mini Gene Simmons (okay not politically correct but true in any case).

The true danger here is the gift shop. You can drop a paycheck in the blink of an eye with t-shirts, coffee mugs, shot glasses, air freshener, costumes, jackets, candy, all KISS branded. My head was swimming by the end but there was one last essential activity - putting on Gene Simmons' Destroyer boots for a $5 photo opportunity.

KISS Destroyer Boots

If you, like me, are a member of the KISS Army this place is the greatest thing ever. However if you are a casual KISS fan, or just someone looking for something non-gambling related to do then this place is super fun, family friendly and relatively inexpensive by Vegas standards. The best endorsement ever... I will go back!

KISS Mini Golf by Monster rocks! Shout it out loud.

Kiss Mini Golf FIVE TONGUES!

Rated 5 tongues (out of 5)

Tagged: kiss   hard rock   activities   metal forever or bust   fore   balls   


Comments & Discussion:

I'd pay $15 bucks to wear Gene Simmons' wig from the Animalize tour.

I'd pay about $20 to wear Paul Stanley's chest hair too.

They also have a bar and are conveniently located directly across the street from the HRH.

KISS fan here since '79 , I been to the mini golf and agree completely, lots of fun, lots of music, lots of nostalgia too, overall a must for all of us KISS fans out there.
Actually I stopped there 3 weeks ago for a couple of pictures after checking out the Sin City Sinners across the street at the Hard Rock ( another must see by the way, 'cause these guys rock ! ) and they finished their show with what else ? ... Rock n roll all nite / Viva las Vegas .
Si señor !!!

"The true danger here is the gift shop. You can drop a paycheck in the blink of an eye with t-shirts, coffee mugs, shot glasses, air freshener, costumes, jackets, candy, all KISS branded."

There we go - the only reason there is a KISS golf course. Gene is one of the biggest shills there is. I'm surprised he hasn't branded sheet rock or paver stones yet.

This reminds me of my last trip, when trying out the new KISS slot, I told my friend, that based on the schill that Simmons is, losing on that slot, felt like Gene Simmons tongue fucking you and then having to pay him for it.

Needless to say my one time losing on the slot was enough.

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