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News Brief's For January 11, 2013 - CES Edition

By Misnomer on Friday, 11th January 2013 1:30pm
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Las Vegas News Briefs

Sanyo Showcases World's Most Medium-Sized Television

At an electronics show known for its extremes, one company has taken a moderate approach, introducing what it hails as, "The World's Most Medium-Sized Television". Sanyo says the self-bestowed title represents years of development, and a passion for the midpoint.

Peter Edmonds, Sanyo's Vice President of Median Products explained. "We looked at what Sharp was doing with their 90-inch television, the biggest on the market, and we also took a look at LG's little 2-inch portables, and we thought, you know, that's just not us. But what if we added those two numbers together and divided by two? And that's kind of what got the ball rolling."

Sanyo's Goldilocks46 model HDTV is a 46-inch LED flatscreen that the company says is just right for the average consumer. But the company knows that it can't rest on its laurels.

"Innovation never sleeps," said Edmonds. "If next year, Sharp goes to 94 inches or LG goes even smaller, we have to be ready to do some very basic math and make adjustments. And we will, because we have every intention of staying on top of the middle of the market."

Apple Introduces Schwag BagS

The lines were long again today at the Apple booth, as the company unveiled its highly anticipated Schwag BagS, a successor to yesterday's Schwag Bag. While Schwag BagS contains many of the same features as Schwag Bag (ballpoint pen, stress ball, letter opener) it also incorporates a Siri-branded key fob that syncs with iPhone's integrated Siri digital assistant.

Apple says the fob will assist users in finding misplaced keys, though users reported that Siri generally advises, "Hmm, I can't seem to find your keys. Would you like me to do a web search?"

3D Printer Prints Legs, Runs Away

There was a moment of excitement this afternoon when a 3D Systems CubeX 3D printer printed itself a fully rendered set of legs, sprang from a table, and began running wildly down the paths of the exhibition hall. Seemingly cornered by security, the fast thinking 3D printer produced a lifelike handlebar mustache, which fooled the guards long enough for the machine to slip out a side exit.

While the 3D printer remains at large, officials assure the public that it poses no harm, as it will eventually run out of toner.

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