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I'm Going To #VIMFP, And I'm Taking

By Misnomer on Friday, 5th October 2012 11:27am
  » filed under Las Vegas  comments: 9


It's almost here! The Vegas Internet Mafia Family Picnic is almost here, and the excitement is palpable. Time to dig out those suitcases, find your collapsible travel toothbrush, and launder your Ipso Facto Jimbo shirt. Time to beg an acquaintance for a ride to the airport, or gas up the Family Truckster. It's travel time

Which reminds me of all those travel games we used to play as kids. There was Slug Bug, which was simply an excuse to pound your siblings at the sight of a VW Beetle. Twenty Questions, I Spy, and Spot the license plate. But my favorite was always, I'm Going to the Moon. That's the one where you take turns listing, in alphabetical order, the things you plan to take on your trip to the moon, with each person adding to the list an item beginning with the next letter in the alphabet. This would go on until someone flubbed the re-recitation of the list, or until your dad yelled, "QUIET! I'm trying to drive this gaddamned car!"

Modified for #VIMFP, the game might go thusly:

Player No. 1: I'm going to VIMFP, and I'm taking Anti-Inflammatories.

Player No. 2: I'm going to VIMFP, and I'm taking Anti-Inflammatories and a Bail Bond Card.

Player No. 3: I'm going to VIMFP, and I'm taking Anti-Inflammatories and a Bail Bond Card and a Cinna-Bib.

And so on. In the comments below, we invite you to share your own A-Z list of things you're taking to VIMFP. Here's mine:

Bail Bond Card
Disposable Gloves
Ed Hardy T-shirt
Fat Stacks
Hand Sanitizer
Koi Food
Naughty Nurse Costume
Ocean's Eleven Soundtrack
Plausible Deniability
Quarters (For Sigma Derby)
Roach Bait
Salt Shaker
Talcum Powder
Udder Balm
Vegas Mate (It's really great!)
X-Ray. (Maybe a xylophone. Game-time decision.)

See you all at the picnic!


Comments & Discussion:

Bottles of Bourbon
Colon Cleanse XTRA Strength
Derek Stevens' email address
Every comp club card I own
Flask of Tequila
Giant turd
Hunter's app
I don't know what nine is for
Janky XLR cables
Kutoff Jorts
Match Game questions
No No Spot Shaver
Obama jokes
Photos of my pugs
Quad renderings
Romney jokes
Some 'ho who claims to be Dave Lifton's mom
Teeter Hang Ups
Unopened bottle of Tums
Velvet Underground's 'Loaded'
Wife. Not.
Xenakis scores for Mike E
Zzyzyx Road Sign

I'm. Taking cigars. Hunter S. Thompson would take:

Two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

Basil Hayden's
Calgary Beer (Yup, it exsist)
Fourty Creek Whiskey
Gentleman Jack
Hot 100 (DonnyMac will remember)
Isle of Jura 10yr single malt
Jack Daniel's
Lemon Gin
Miller Lite
New Castle Brown
Old Milwalkie (wow, my spelling is attrociou...attr.... really bad)
Pinnacle Whipped Cream Vodka
Quintesential Gin
Revelstoke Spiced Whiskey
Single Barrel Jack
Underberg Herbal Digestive (gonna need it)
Van Gohh dark chocolate
Woodford Reserve
Youkon Jack
Zubrowka (it's a buffalo grass vodka)

oh wait, most of that stuff will already be there. So I guess I'll bring my wallet, passport, and leave my self respect at home!!

Unfortunately, I will not be at #VIMFP this year.

If I were though, I would most certainly take:

Anything that's not strapped down in my hotel room
Black Socks
Dr. Dave a small token of solace in case I stump him
Five Hundy's phone number
Hundreds and hundreds, maybe thousands, of drachma (drachmae?)
It easy
Junk off nobody
Klassee lessons
Maximum free odds
Nerdery to a new level
Potshots at Carlos and Charlie's
Quality footwear
Rice-A-Roni and Turtle Wax in case I don't win any during VT Match Game
Several dozen cold beers
Things seriously
Unused toothpaste
Way too little self-respect
Xenophobic tendencies
Yoleven, two ways
Zany party favors

Anxiety Medication
DC Skate shoes
Energy Drinks
Gangnam Style
Horn High-Low-Yo
iPhone, iPod and iPad
Jack Daniels (or Jim Beam, or Jameson, or Johnny, or Jose... Aw hell, all booze with a "J")
King's Crown
Love, for everyone... Trust me, there's enough
Nagging Wife
Onions - to hand out to the homeless along the Strip, who claim they are "hungry"
Questions for Dr. Dave
Red Wine - for the wife (if I don't, she'll nag more)
Singles - Gotta tip that waitress!
Toothbrush and Toothpaste - Don't be wantin' "Funk Monk"
Underwear - Lot's of em' too. Fat ass + walking + ball sweat = Smell 2-3 pair a day
Vice Grips - To keep the "blackout curtains" closed in the middle
Wagers for friends
X-ray pictures of my one kidney that I was born with...
Yes dear, yes dear, yes, dear

I'm living in vegas, but if I was coming here's what I'd Bring

Absolut (i'm not paying $500 a bottle for it)
Bail Money
Designated Drivers
Five Hour Energy
Glue (strictly for sniffing)
Hockey Mask
Icy Hot
Jim Beam
Meth (preferably Blue)
Quadrophenia by The Who
Rabies Vaccinations
Tide Sticks
Undead Survival Guide
XXX consent forms

Just gonna bring an ice cold Coors and a joint.Gotta work Monday.

Bottle opener
Crisp $100 bills
Dictionary for Spyder (snik snik)
Energy drinks
Foam finger
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Hot sauce
Iceball maker
Just the right amount of wrong
Kardashian repellant
Lip balm
Macallan 12
Neun und neunzig luftballons
Old Crow
Pint glass
Rolling Rock
Thunder Sticks
Unleash the Kraken
Victory is Mine!!!!
Young's Chocolate Stout
Zebra print banana hammock

Realized I left out Q:

Queso dip, but not from Carlos & Charlies...

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