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Elaine Wynn Lawsuit Suggested Amendments

By Misnomer on Friday, 22nd June 2012 2:06pm
  » filed under Wynn Resorts  comments: 6


Elaine Wynn, the twice-former wife of Las Vegas mogul Steve Wynn, has joined a lawsuit against Wynn Resorts, seeking to alter a shareholder agreement that currently prohibits her from selling her shares in the casino company. Her stake in the company is said to be valued in excess of $1 billion dollars. In her lawsuit, Ms. Wynn claims to have "good and valid reasons" for altering the shareholder agreement, and she cites her charitable and community work among them.

Why stop there? Below are several additional "good and valid reasons" Elaine Wynn might need to liquidate that billion. I've set them out in plug and play legal verbiage. We can talk about my fee later.

(a) Petitioner Elaine Wynn (hereinafter "Petitioner") has been, and will in the future be, caused to incur significant expense as a result of taxi cab operators taking the circuitous route along, around, and among State Route 171 and the McCarran Airport Connector (hereinafter "getting tunneled").

(b) Petitioner currently has in her possession, and as such is the legal bearer of, an instrument commonly known as a "2-for-1 Buffet Pass" (hereinafter "the instrument"). Petitioner, evincing once again her ongoing commitment to charity and goodwill toward the greater Las Vegas community, desires to employ said instrument for the purpose of obtaining admission to the buffet for herself and an as yet unnamed party (hereinafter "John Doe"). Petitioner is aware, however, that while the instrument entitles the beneficiary of her largesse (John Doe) to partake in the buffet without expenditure of his own, Petitioner will nevertheless be made to compense the proprietor of said buffet at the full, published rate for buffet admittance, and will be liable for all applicable state and federal sales taxes associated therewith.

(c) Petitioner requests this Court take judicial notice of the fact that "penny slot machines" are in fact a misnomer, as a "Max Credit" spin on said machines is typically 300 pennies, the legal equivalent of three U.S. dollars ($3.00).

(d) Petitioner recently suffered the unexpected loss of a considerable sum of money ($20.00) when an ungracious desk clerk, acting as agent of Wynn Las Vegas (hereinafter "the innkeeper"), failed to observe local custom and upgrade Petitioner to a "Strip view" hotel room, and instead forced Petitioner to undertake lodging in a standard sixth (6th) floor room with a view of the rooftop HVAC system.

(e) Petitioner, long established as a supporter of the arts, has undertaken the financial sponsorship of an artist whose work inures to the benefit of the public at large. The artist, who works in the mediums of paint and sculpture, currently has a public installation on the sidewalk along Las Vegas Boulevard, where he has painted himself silver and stands very still as if he were a sculpture.

(f) Petitioner needs Nick Hissom concert tickets.

Tagged: misnomer   


Comments & Discussion:

Creative Brilliance!!

I think (f) is my favorite. I would liquidate a billion for those.


every time in any vegas forum I read "getting tunneled" it makes me giggle quietly

Up the Irons!

Great stuff! The "tunneling" has gotten real bad. The cabbies tried it on me both coming and going from the airport on my last trip! Usually only the cabbie taking me from the airport tries it!

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