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Las Vegas News Brief's For Dec 23

By Misnomer on Friday, 23rd December 2011 1:47pm
  » filed under Las Vegas  comments: 3

   

Las Vegas News Brief's

John Curtas Figures 'Fuck It' - Throws In A Pizza

Restaurant critic John Curtas, overwhelmed by the vast array of gourmet opportunities available to him in Las Vegas this Holiday Season, decided instead to throw a Totino's Party Pizza in the oven.

Curtas, who regularly appears as a judge on Food Network's "Iron Chef" television program, considered festive dining options such as Pierre Gagnaire's Christmas Goose "two ways" - as well as Guy Savoy's renowned preparation of the classic crown rack of lamb.

Instead Curtas, who just didn't feel like going out, preheated his Viking convection oven to 350 degrees, per the directions on the box of the Crispy Crust Combination Pizza. He then placed the still frozen pie on the oven's center rack for nine to eleven minutes.

Curtas described the finished pizza as "salty" and "somewhat burned on the bottom" but offered that the wine pairing of the 1992 Chianti by Isole e Olena "brought out the spicy notes of the soggy-ass green peppers".

Oscar Goodman's Nose to Lead Santa's Sleigh

The bulbous, red, booze-polished nose of Las Vegas's former Mayor, Oscar Goodman, will have the honor of leading Santa Claus's sleigh this year. The announcement comes on the heals of the tragic death of Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer, who was mistakenly shot by a bow hunter in the fall.

Goodman, whose shiny nose can be seen for miles in clear skies, was uncertain of his ability to fly, but noted that Bombay Sapphire Gin will get you "plenty high".

Stripper Wonders What She Has To Do To Get On The Naughty List

Cinnamon, a Las Vegas area exotic dancer, wonders what a girl has to do to get on the Naughty List. The erotic entertainer's puzzlement is the result of, once again, receiving Christmas presents, leading her to believe that she has been classified as "nice".

"In my line of work, it doesn't pay to be nice. All the money's in naughty," explained Cinnamon, as she adjusted her nipple clamps before taking the stage at an area gentlemen's club.

In the coming year, Cinnamon will make her case for inclusion on the Naughty List by "really leaning into my steam baths".



Tagged: misnomer   





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Comments & Discussion:

Funny as always!

Totino's is my favorite store-bought pizza. No shit.

Poor Cinnamon, call me, I can help.



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