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Meet The New LVH

By Chuckmonster on Friday, 9th December 2011 6:09am
  » filed under Mergers & Acquisitions  comments: 13


When the Atlantic City Hilton changed its name to the ACH, we all knew it was only a matter of time before the Las Vegas Hilton did the same. Straight from the "Worst Kept Secret This Side of Paradise Department" comes the earth shattering news that the Las Vegas Hilton will change its name to.... LVH!

But what does LVH stand for? Obviously not Las Vegas Hilton, as Hilton hotels kicked LVH out of their branding network for being a bunch of underperforming schlubs. Eddie's cousin, Larry Van Halen. Or perhaps the Louis Vuitton Hotel. Leftover Vagina Here. Lemmys Violent Hairpiece. Le Vert Haricots. LeBron's Victory Ham. Largely Vacant Hotel.

According to the RJ, officials at the new LVH decided that the name would be a smashing success when they saw the new logo.

LVH logo

Yeah, that's a winner. LVH. Las Vegas Hotel & Casino. Jam packed with personality. SERIOUSLY. This new name is evidence that the executives who have run this place into the ground don't deserve the honor of owning & operating a Las Vegas Hotel or Casino. The LVH name reeks of fearful desperation of a corporation that lacks ingenuity, confidence and one speck of creativity. Rebranding a hotel isn't something to be taken lightly, nor is it something that should be half-assed. Calling the hotel LVH, clearly playing on the former name, gives the hotel a level of class normally associated to used car lots that try as hard as possible to make passers by think it is an actual Mercedes-Benz dealership. LVH.

The obvious answer: The International. Restore the fucking thing. Hire the greatest Elvis tribute artist in the world to perform the grand opening show note for note every night in the showroom. Design the place so you feel like you've walked smack dab into late 60's early 70's all over again - retro futurist awesomeness. Paint the hotel lime green with wood paneling and orange shag carpeting.

For more cluelessness, check out their new website that features navigation written by Vinnie Barbarino: Who? What? When? How? Where? Why?

I stand by my assertion that The Hilton died the day the Star Trek Experience closed.

Tagged: lvh   wtf   


Comments & Discussion:

You're dead on with this one, Chuck.

My hope is that our Saint Jeff is whispering in Steve Wynn's ear, urgung him to buy it and make it relevant again.

I have to admit I kind of like the website, although I agree the name is... somewhat generic.

They could easily make the place relevant...

Reskin the tower so it has nice glass curtain-walls without all the sectioned panels...
Get really good gaming! By that, I mean take a leaf from the MGM Grand's book and have

So calling this place Leftover Vagina Here from now on.

I've always liked the return of the International idea. Adding something Elvis-y would be great, too (NOT CduS).
Those In Charge dropped the ball big time on this and have displayed zero creativity. Why do people that get paid $300,000 less a year then these people have better ideas?

It's a Las Vegas icon, how could anyone fuck this up so bad?

Seriously just call it anything else, call it Indecent Proposal, call it the Kerkorian.

We have tons of great ad agencies just call one of them up I'm sure an intern could come up with a better name. This is just plain lazy and it might be the worst name change since TI.

They should have taken this opportunity to re-brand and create some excitement.

Great commentary Chuck, I think your last statement is right on and how bizarre it is that the ST: Experience signified the demise of this property. Essentially an attraction that "new" Vegas looked on in relative disgust.

I think you are also right in the way this hotel should be rehabbed. I'm not usually fond of the retro-theme, but in this case, it makes perfect sense and "LVH" is setup to be the perfect property for it. Depressing that they don't see that.

With the strip on the rebound, it's my opinion that some of the same properties that barely survived the crash could benefit from learning from the mistakes last time. If rates continue to increase, building a solid base of gamblers that will be displaced as the big boys discard them could be a significant group of clientele and these individual properties would be well served if they figured that out.

"Both Hilton and LVH will not go into details regarding the decision."

Who writes this stuff? There are missing commas and poorly worded sentences, but this is the best (or worst) example. It should be "Neither Hilton nor LVH..."

The Hilton was such a great property in the late '80s and early '90s. Sad.

Dude if they re-did that hotel in shag carpet and wood paneling with orange phones in the rooms it would be my new Vegas hotel...or Las Vegas Hotel if you will.

Leftover Vagina Here (or Loose Vagina Here) would actually fit the hotel perfectly being as the hotel pool is clearly shaped like a womans reproductive organs. Look at the Google map view of the pool.....vagina and ovaries.

Instead of "The International", I like "The Continental", with Christopher Walken as official host. http://www.hulu.com/watch/4191/saturday-night-live-the-continental

The Hilton reminds me of one of those old supper clubs with paneling that hasn't remodeled for 20 years. Fine place if you are 80+. Otherwise pass.

It's so sad...I popped my vegas cherry at the hilton in the early noughts. The hotel was nice, star trek was cool and the spa was better than the ones I was used to, and the sports book rocked. Best of all, it was cheap, clean and had a nice, quiet pool. Then the monorail jacked up the prices, star trek closed, housekeeping went down hill and they stopped sending me discounted rooms. I'll akways have fond memories of hilton (especially being one of the first to be in the newly refurbished rooms), but I only would stay there if I was a conventioneer next door.

I think it was the beginning of '08, but I distinctly remember charging for hotel guests to park overnight. I nearly had a stroke when they told me that.

Largely Vacant Hotel=so true. The one time I've been inside the Hilton, I walked far enough back to see the convention space. Guess they'll hafta rename the Conrad Ballroom as well. Perhaps they'll call it the CB (Convention Ballroom).

I have a feeling the hotel truly will be largely vacant once the Hilton reservations system is pulled out from under them come Jan. 3rd. Because with that will go the bare minimum renovation standards they were required to meet, not to mention housekeeping standards, guest service standards, etc. From what I gather, several of these ingredients have been sparse the last few years anyway. This hotel will soon be a huge white elephant if some pizazz isn't spread around to keep it even a tiny bit relevant.

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