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Can You Think Of A #betternamethanclimax?

By JohnH on Monday, 28th November 2011 7:24pm
  » filed under Las Vegas  comments: 26

   

Climax is a terrible name for a nightclub. It really, truly is. In fact, I'm quite positive I selectively forgot that it was even going to be a thing in the weeks following its announcement here on VT. And then, while reading my fellow VT colleague MikeE's yarn about even the mere rumor of changing the club's name to Apogée, I was once again reminded of what an absolutely crass, lazy, and shamefully predictable name it is for a nightclub.

No, wait. It's worse than that. It's a name that's crass, lazy, and predictable for a club built in early-80s New York. You know, the kind of fly-by-night nightclub that would want to attract all the yokels heading in from Jersey on a Saturday night who knew Studio 54 wasn't going to happen. The kind of club that Anthony Bourdain would have worked at during that phase in his career. The kind of club that, two to three days after visiting, you'd probably find yourself scheduling a doctor's appointment and being prescribed a medicated cream rinse and a fine-toothed comb. In short, a terrible, terrible hell hole of a place that a sane person wouldn't want affiliated with--or even spoken in the same breath as--the Wynn brand.

But then I started thinking about better names. Are there better names? Have we just run out of slyly suggestive, one syllable naming conventions and are instead just going to turn nightclub names into the equivalents of billboards that read, "Hey Grotesquely Dressed But Rich {Insert Target Demographic} Guy, You Might Get Laid Here?"

No. Not in my Las Vegas, we're not.

So, I present to you my selection of names I consider to be better than Climax, Climaxx, or Climax(x).

Ardor: It's suggestive in it's meaning of zeal and boundless energy, but with such a meaning, connects well with the inherent energy of a popular nightclub that... isn't going to be managed by Sean Christie.

Ardeur: Being the French translation of the previous option, it might be even better than the first.

Elan: Again, it's French. But more to the point, it does what Wynn wants to do with Climax, but in a suggestive manner that would certainly appeal to well-educated and/or wealthy individuals.

La Bete: Yeah.

But those are just a few. What do you have? What is a better name than Climax? Is there a better one? For all of our sakes, I hope there is.



Tagged: wynn   climax   nightlife   





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Comments & Discussion:

MoneyShot. It embodies the same idea that they are going for with Climax, but with more XXXs. It also incorporates the whole "Get rich/lucky here" idea that is Vegas.

Donkey Punch
Kardashian Kooch
The Gooch
Herpes Heaven
Douchey McBaggins
Bottles for Billions
Overpriced
Bankrupt
Club To Be Remnamed Soon
Steve's Sack

Le Dong

Laid
Splooge
Bearded Clam
Buttered Taco
Nookie
Intercourse

Tony Danza

If it's a good enough name for a 70s soft rock band, it's good enough for me.

Douche

Lucky
(Ménage à) Trois
Happy Ending
Suggest
Ld
Jz
Inches
Cck


Sordide
Trompeur
Dupeur
Affaire
Maîtresse
Lascif
Verge


Désespérée

Maison Close

Marilyn's Chamber

Actually I like "Splooge," but you'll have to class it up a little: Le Splooge.

Sloppy 2nds.....or is it 3rds now

"It's a name that's crass, lazy, and predictable for a club built in early-80s New York. You know, the kind of fly-by-night nightclub that would want to attract all the yokels heading in from Jersey on a Saturday night who knew Studio 54 wasn't going to happen."

That's an excellent comparison, but I'd put it even lower on the evolutionary chain. "Climax" is what you'd expect for a late-70s fly-by-night disco in Bay Ridge or Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, geared for the Saturday Night Fever douchenozzles who knew that 2001 Odyssey or L'Amour weren't going to happen.

I think we are looking at this from the wrong direction. There aren't many fist pumpers here on VT and I have a feeling Climax(x) is exactly what would appeal to that crowd. Not my type of place but hey, I'm not a douchebag. I would much rather hang out in a place called Chuck's Bar and Grill but that probably wouldn't fly at the Wynn either.

My suggestions:

Regret
Shame
LAS
Ra(oops that one was done already)
The Herp
Le Tramp Stamp
vd

There is only one name that should be considered:

Club VANDERSEXXX

elan was used in late 70's early 80's in Atlanta, Dallas and Philadelphia by McFaddin Kendrick

LeChffre
Indifference'
Champagne'
John Holmes' Place

"Baby Seals" ... for when you want to go clubbin'!

ELYSIUM - Pagan expression for paradise

Anal. Pronounced eh-NOL.

Bleu balls
Batch
Le Poon
Le Fete Saucisse
Pole
Sa Liva
Le Gunt

Apogee sounds like a godo name actually. But, in the vein of this joke...

Nadir
Nader(eh, just to see who gets it)
Cashbox (Rock the cashbox.....sorry, I'll stop)
Gilt
Twilight
Twist
Succumb
Erotique

There's actually a restaurant/lounge here in Chicago called Gilt Bar.

And a sushi place called Twist.



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