The Binion's Quagmire
Binion's has the best website ever. No they didn't update it. But much like every other property that slid into oblivion - Westward Ho, New Frontier and Bourbon Street to be specific - Binion's website is aging like a fine jug of milk, verging on becoming a solid block of cheeeese, Grommit.
Exhibit A: "New Hot Slots"
Nice bucket. Is that former Barker's Beauty Dian Parkinson ?
Exhibit B: "Great Accommodations"
Binion's accommodations are so great they've been closed for just about two years. A virtual eon in internet time.
Also... is that Dr. Dave doing a little moonlight modeling?
Exhibit C: fire up your headphones or whatever you listen to the internet with and check out their jingle after the chick'n pick'n intro guitar solo and Hammond B3 patch comes the catch phrase:
Good food! Good whisky! Good gamble! Binions Gamblin' Hall!
With buckets of cash being dumped into Golden Nugget, El Cortez and now The Plaza, the odds of Binions making a comeback are in motion. Does the influx of upgrades and enthusiasm surrounding Binion's give owners TLC Enterprises inspiration or feed fears that they might be too far down the rabbit hole for Binions to be competitive.
Imagine if a new, deep pocketed owner took control of the Binions. One who planned to invest in the joint (and brand) as a long term project, pouring in 3x the capital the Plaza guys did and doing an extreme renovation/repositioning.
Turn all guest rooms into boutique modern suites by knocking down every other wall and designing them with a non-stop party in mind. The casino - keep the rustic charm but turn the rhinestone cowboy up to 11. Cowgirl cocktail waitresses dressed up like the neon Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders on acid. In addition to $2 buds, offer top shelf liquor and be known all over the world for having THE BEST selection of brown booze on the continent. Put in a beyond great BBQ place. And a truly revolutionary burger place which ranges from basic $5 burger all the way to up to oddball foodie stuff like rattlesnake, rabbit, alligator, duck, frogs or Ortolan burgers.
Take the biggest action anywhere and offer the best odds. Make the slots playable, open up the VP paytables. Take all bets. Turtle races. Make the casino floor a hot bed of folding green looking for a place to multiply itself or get lost in someones underpants. Install a classic floor show right on the casino floor, kick line of dancing girls, a little t&a, some bawdy comedy, a virtuoso barrelhouse piana player, real rockabilly or hard country swing bands, a tattoo joint. Make the place feel like Porky's meets Encore and make it hard. Rough. Real. Exciting.
Reminder: Chuck's Binions Buyout Bake Sale is Thursday during lunch/recess so don't forget to bring some extra change to school.
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