Home » VT News » Authorities: Las Vegas Riot Caused By 'Comedy'
Authorities: Las Vegas Riot Caused By 'Comedy'
As Las Vegas burned during a third straight day of rioting, officials concluded that the mass civil unrest was caused by a comedian who attempted to tell a joke.
The comedian had just begun his act at Brad Garrett's Comedy Club at the Tropicana, when he made the following remark, apparently intended to be humorous:
"I saw a guy wearing Ed Hardy gear at a blackjack table today. The guy lost his shirt, and the casino was like, 'You know what, keep it.'"
Witnesses say that almost immediately after the joke was delivered, the crowd became incensed at the comedian's attempt to elicit their laughter. One man leapt to his feet, shouting, "Fuck you, comedian! I decide what's funny! Not you, me!" The man then kicked over several tables, causing their candles to topple to the floor and ignite the showroom. Authorities say the crowd rushed the stage, killed the comedian, and dismembered his body.
The crowd then spilled out of the Tropicana onto Las Vegas Boulevard, its numbers growing as word spread of the comedian's fateful attempt to spread good cheer. "That sick son of a bitch just told a joke no more than 400 yards from the sundry shop, where they sell newspapers! Now how the hell am I supposed to tell what's really news and what's jokes?" asked one man, who then climbed MGM's iconic "Leo the Lion" statue, and scrawled, "No Jokes!" onto its side with the comedian's blood.
As it made its way down the Strip, the mob was heard shouting, "For Richard Pryor, we set the fires!" A reporter witnessed the appalling gang rape of a busker dressed as SpongeBob SquarePants. From afar, the sickening groan of failing steel foretold the fall of the Eiffel Tower, which crashed into Lake Bellagio, flooding the Strip. Further north, the angry mob looted stores along Wynn's Esplanade. Between overturned cars, a mother sat amid broken glass, huddled with her child, rocking, sobbing, repeating a single word: "Why?"
Experts are puzzled by the behavior exhibited by the angry mob. A doctor, who refused to be quoted for fear of reprisal, explained that endorphins released by laughter usually bring about a feeling of pleasure, or happiness. The doctor could not understand why the crowd reacted as it did, becoming instead enraged at the comedian's attempt at humor. Nevertheless, authorities have asked that anyone not yet affected by the riot remain indoors, and refrain from any humorous behavior of any kind.
Elsewhere, police do not believe the ongoing uprising in Reno is related to the Las Vegas comedian's attempt at humor; rather, the Reno riot is linked to a punctuation error committed by a local blogger.
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Comments & Discussion:
Wow, someone doesn't take criticism well.
During several television live shots, rioters seen running up to cameras yelling "Baba Booey! Baba Booey! Howard Stern's Penis! Baba Booey!"
you have a fine hand at subtlety my friend, a fine hand
Likey.
I think these "stories" need their own category, or disclaimer or something. Having them mixed in with the real news can be quite disconcerting between reading the headline and getting a few sentences in.
this made my day. funny shit here. lighten up people, its a freakin joke.
rbg: they all have the tag "misnomer"
Chuck, not when you're on the homepage - you have to open the story before seeing who posted it.
Poor Spongebob, and such a sad demise for Michael Richards, I know his standup didn't do well in LA, but that's a sad end at the Tropicana.
At least the end came at the Tropicana and not at the Billy Bob's Chuckle Hut in Pig's Knuckle, Arkansas....
I don't know whether to laugh or get enraged !! Too funny !!
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