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This Ain't The First Time I Ran For Mayor

By Chuckmonster on Tuesday, 5th April 2011 6:20pm
  » filed under Las Vegas  comments: 7

   

Since THEpoll has generated some degree of interest around here - bwahahah - I thought it might be worth it to mention that the latest "Stripper Poll" from the tag team entity known as The Strip/Two Way Vegas Hard Mate has nominated yours truly to succeed Mayor Oscar Goodgin as Mayor of Las Vegas.

Some of you may know that I ran for Mayor of Los Angeles in the mid-1990's. No, seriously, I did. Of course, I didn't win. Yes, it was a publicity stunt. If I won, my one and only task was to permanently eliminate the Parking Enforcement Bureau, after which I would resign.

I want to win this. In a landslide. Change we can believe in. Yes we can.

The instructions say "pick 3" - don't - pick one... Chuck Monster. Mayor of Las Vegas.

A red light district adjacent to downtown Las Vegas? YES WE CAN! Legalize soft drugs under the same laws that govern alcohol usage? YES WE CAN! Require casinos to state on advertisements that their great blackjack actually pays 6:5? YES WE CAN! Require that all CEOs of Casino Companies register with the Mayors office for photo identification in a chicken suit? YES WE CAN! Run Celine Dion out of town? YES WE CAN! Open a nightclub that plays only real fucking metal? YES WE CAN! Erect a 35 foot tall statues of Sammy Davis Jr., Hunter S. Thompson and Joey Ramone in the center divider of the strip? YES WE CAN!



Tagged: oscar goodwrench   





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Comments & Discussion:

 rbg81601 posted on Tuesday, 5th April 2011 - 6:23 pm

You got my vote Dr. Monster! I was the 3rd to vote for you apparantly.

 RateVegas posted on Tuesday, 5th April 2011 - 6:31 pm

I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I posted the poll without even looking at the options. Been one of those days.

Now I'm glad that I actually checked it out. Funny.

 RateVegas posted on Tuesday, 5th April 2011 - 6:33 pm

Just voted (and not for myself ; not sure why I'm on there)... Wow, looks like you're gonna run away with this one if the results keep going that way.

 Akala posted on Tuesday, 5th April 2011 - 6:41 pm

I'll vote if you can clarify...i s the Joey R thing just fandom or is there a reference to LV? Never heard that one.

Also, metal club would be kinda wild. I don't think it would work, but kinda wild. As long as you don't take away my trashy low-key techno clubs, I'm down.

 parchedearth posted on Wednesday, 6th April 2011 - 8:12 am

Aside from the chicken suit photos, you've got a pretty solid platform.

There are actually some interesting (and serious) candidates on the poll. Some of those casino executives would probably be pretty good - Elaine Wynn, Breitling/Poster, Maloof.

 middleclassbuzz posted on Wednesday, 6th April 2011 - 3:56 pm

Mr. Monster is a given. Who are your other two? I'm going George Maloof and Tim Poster/Tom Breitling.

 Halton posted on Thursday, 7th April 2011 - 6:20 am

I would like to be considered for Vice-Mayor. I have several skills to bring to the table including the ability to provide startling details on the real reason why Rock-A-Hula was shut down.



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