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What The Experts Say About Cosmopolitan

By Chuckmonster on Tuesday, 5th April 2011 5:57pm
  » filed under Las Vegas  comments: 8


I love "analysts." They crunch the numbers and tell us what they mean. Sometimes all they have to do is wave their hand over stuff and expertise is magically conjured. Actual journalists love analysts too. They're guys with a degree in spreadsheets who wear ties or work in their underpants selling pdfs. Analysts give good quotes and work for important sounding companies that nobody has ever heard of. They send out press releases that make summoning the story easy. Mostly because they're usually wrong. Goddamn it, they're experts. I know this because I used to do webdesign work for a firm that did just this... distributing news releases that sell market intelligence reports to paranoid suits looking for an edge on the competition.

Without experts, the world would stop.

Today, two different firms have offered their expert opinions on Cosmopolitan, and had their expert opinions deciphered by local journalists. Comparing the two isn't exactly apples to apples, but the conclusion drawn by both journalists use temperature in their headline.

The Experts quoted in the RJ believe that Cosmopolitan is the hot property of the future.

The Experts quoted by sf'sTSPB/VHH questioningly state that Cosmo is cooling off.

So which is it? Which expert is right? Is Cosmopolitan the hot resort of the future or is it cooling off.

The answer is... they're both right... and both wrong. Cosmopolitan isn't the hot resort of the future. It is the hot resort of now. Last Monday night, Cosmopolitan was packed with chicken haired hipsters, hookers, haute dorques, gamblers and clubbers. A long hike up a mountain of stairs and through the antiseptic Kubrickian confines of the Crystals shopping mall into Aria revealed quite the opposite... desolate quietude bathed in pasty green lighting. Whereas Cosmo's P3 restaurant commons brimmed with excitement, ARIA's floor two restaurant promenade felt like a stroll through the mall in Grand Theft Auto.... there was nobody... NOBODY up there. All the restaurants were closed and moreover had signs out front touting reduced hours. My guess is that the mirrored cactus garden freak out slash mistake gets ripped out and replaced with a center barlet, couches and a dj booth pronto.

Room rates at Cosmopolitan may be pillowing a little, but I suspect that most mid-week rates have been softening as the price of gas in California zooms towards and beyond the $5 threshold in the coming weeks. We're seven weeks removed from Memorial Day weekend and it's already $4.17 at the station at the end of my block. It should also be said that Cosmo's initial room rate card was preposterously high and their service failures have been thoroughly documented here and all over Trip Advisor.

Experts know more than we do.

Tagged: cosmopolitan   


Comments & Discussion:

"An expert is a paid liar from another county." I think Mark Twain said that.

To be fair to Aria, probably 80% of Cosmopolitan's public area traffic on Monday nights is the result of a combination of "Marquee Mondays" at Marquee, "Get Lit Mondays" at Holstein's, and "Magnum Mondays" at STK. All are Monday-only promotions and deals that are heavily and aggressively marketed to locals.

Tues-Wed nights at Cosmo are another story entirely.

Exactly. Cosmopolitan has managed to string together a bunch of Monday night events that Aria hasn't... and Aria had a 12 month head start!

RJ changed the headline on this story.... now it reads "Cosmopolitan already tabbed as trendsetter" Tabbed as in acid?

Mmmmmmm acid

My dear old dad always says "An Expert is just an unknown drip under pressure" as "x" is the mathematical unknown and a "spurt" is just a drip under pressure.

According to the RJ, Bain says that the $4/gallon gas prices are the "only concern."

If you're driving from LA in a car that gets 20 mpg on the highway, the ~600 mile round trip costs you $84 in gas if the price of gas is $2.80/gallon. If the price goes up to $4.00/gallon, it's $120.

That extra $36 is going to be the Achilles heel for the Cosmopolitan? That's rich.

@blissfulignoramus it is more complex than $36 in added trip expenses. A 25% increase in fuel prices ($4-5 /gallon of gas) increases the prices of daily commuting by 25% and results in higher prices at grocery stores, restaurants and all other daily expenses of being alive in southern california. These increases cause people to decide to not go visit Las Vegas in the first place. When money gets tighter, so do belts. The first thing to go is the lost weekend in Vegas.

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