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VegasEats: Holstein's Shakes and Buns at Cosmopolitan

By Chuckmonster on Friday, 4th March 2011 3:52pm
  » filed under Las Vegas  comments: 12


Holstein's Shakes and Buns

To truly appreciate drunk food, it helps to be drunk. Drunk enough to motivate your co-stars to trekking through Cosmopolitan's art adorned levels of conference room desolation to sneak your way into Holstein's Shakes and Buns right before closing, much to the irked chagrinning glances of hostesses and servers throughout. In my opinion, they should be infinitely more flustered by the deafeningly loud DJ blasting jams to the maze of Marquee queuebags filling the whole P2 lobby in booty shaking anticipation.

The waitress arrives. She's incredibly pleasant, but I can clearly read the subtext that she's ready to go home and wants to make our meal as quick and painless as possible. It would be even more painless if I could read the microscopic print on the menu. She snickers at a handful of my quips while explaining the relative merits of Holstein's array of spiked shakes. We order, she leaves and the DJ turns up the music a coupla notches more.

Holstein's Shakes and Buns

The shake maker guy arrives with shakes. I seem to have forgotten everything about what I ordered other than the name "Brown Cow." I slurp down a straws worth of its boozy goodness when it starts gurgling and snapping in my mouth. Oh shit! I forgot that this thing has Pop Rocks in it!! (and root beer, vanilla ice cream, and rum.) Mrs. Mo ordered a straight up chocolate shake... it was good.

The waitress arrives with food as the shake maker guy throws a small cup of popcorn on the table. A little late with that. Mrs. Mo ordered a Caesars Salad. Not drunk food because she wasn't drunk. It tasted like unrequited gluttony.

Holstein's Shakes and Buns

I ordered the "Gold Standard" - described as dry aged beef sirloin burger with smoked bacon, aged goat cheddar cheese, tomato confit, baby arugula and garlic chive aioli. It was juicy delicious, but the amount of meat on this thing left me wanting. Fries weren't exactly fresh and I've had better pickles straight out of a jar of Vlasics.

Holstein's Shakes and Buns

The waitress arrived with some sobering news, the bill.

Holstein's Shakes and Buns

Tagged: cosmopolitan   dining   burgers   


Comments & Discussion:

A relatively impressive beer list and the hostesses have really hot red dresses; otherwise it is an average burger joint. The bartendress indicated they had been staying open late and been very busy with drunken Marquee patrons. Like the other good burger joints (BLT and Burger bar), it is always crowded during peak hours.

I really liked my burgers here last trip, we actually ate here twice. Easy reservtions on opentable too.

Sheesh! To think that Vincent Vegas was once taken aback by a $5 shake.



8.00 for a chocolate shake? Think i will wander by on my way to BLT Burger where I can get a Twinkie shake for a little less. The burger does look tasty though.

17 bucks for a burger? Wow, for that much the damn thing better do "Puttin' On The Ritz" and be at least a half pound of straight beef, plus fixings.

Just curious. Judging purely by the "Burger Satisfaction" quotient, that certain "oh yeah" feeling that only a true burger lover can appreciate, how did the Gold Standard stack up against the Jackie Burger?

Why are burgers so ridiculously expensive in Las Vegas? Do they think their customers don't know the actual cost of ground beef? Still, you can never have too many joints that serve spiked shakes.

Commenting on this while at Holsteins. I opted for the Greek lamb sausage, and I was blown away. The duck fat fries are good, but don't taste much different than fries fried in lard.

One thing I've noted in back to back dinners at Cosmo is how empty they were at 7-8 in the evening (The Henry on Saturday night, Holsteins on Sunday.)

This is definitely a 'relevant' to Las Vegas (strip) statement, but I think the price is pretty good for that. Now quality and service might not have been where they should be, but comparatively speaking, I guess it doesn't shock me that much.

To all who are balking at the price of the shake: There is alcohol in it.

I went to Holsteins in January. Wifey ordered the Gold Standard, I ordered the Longhorn. I enjoyed my burger, as the brisket complimented the ground beef quite nicely. Oh, and they have Shiner Bock. Pretty rare in Vegas casino/resorts.

That said: IMO The Pub @ Monte Carlo offers a comparable set of burgers that are slightly cheaper.

I contemplated getting a shake, but opted for a Tenaya Creek Hop Ride IPA instead, as I was more in the mood for a beer with dinner as I had a few cocktails at Chandelier prior to hitting Holsteins. There were a few folks who came in solely to get one of their shakes to go. I may have to do that next trip.

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