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Las Vegas News Brief's for Feb 23

By Misnomer on Wednesday, 23rd February 2011 1:03pm
  » filed under Las Vegas  comments: 5


News Brief's


A struggling economy and lagging convention business has caused one major casino company to take a creative approach in its marketing. Caesars Entertainment has announced that it will actively target public school boards in an effort to boost its bottom line.

Caesars CEO Gary Loveman explained the company's decision to target the unusual market segment. "Simply put, when we looked at that line item of our business, it became obvious that we weren't booking conventions and conferences like we had in the past," said Loveman. "The economy has hurt corporate America, and they're just not spending like they used to. So we had to change gears. We had to survey the marketplace. Who is not afraid to spend money right now? The answer is taxpayer funded school boards, and we want to help them spend that money."

In its direct marketing to school boards, Caesars Entertainment intends to emphasize its wide array of meeting and banquet facilities located within its many Las Vegas properties. But Loveman says the message to school boards goes beyond that.

"What we're selling here isn't a ballroom or a meeting space. They can get that at their local Holiday Inn," explained Loveman. "What we want school board members to do is come out here and really treat themselves for a week. Stay in a suite. Eat at our fine dining restaurants. Hit the spa and get that massage, and then dance the night away in one of our nightclubs. And when your stay is over, submit it all in an expense report. If you're going to suckle at the public teat, suck hard, I say!"

"Project: Suck Hard," as it is known within the Caesars' marketing department, is not without its critics. But Loveman dismissed the notion that school board members should feel any regret for what amounts to vacationing at the taxpayer's expense. "Okay look, I'm not saying that you shouldn't be prepared for your local investigative reporter to stick a foam-tipped microphone in your face when you get home," said Loveman. "But when he does, you'll be able to smile a wry smile, and know that the tan you got at the Garden of the Gods pool looks awesome on TV! ŽNo comment' never felt so good!"

A brief taxpayer protest of the new Caesars program ended peacefully when the protesters joined the school board from Cedar Rapids District 89 for bottle service at Pure.


Emboldened by the successful cost-saving measure of closing Silk Road restaurant at Vdara, CityCenter President Bobby Baldwin announced Friday that the vast Strip development has decided to close all restaurants throughout the property.

"The savings from the closing of Silk Road are undeniable," said Baldwin. "And frankly, that is something that is very exciting for us. So yes, we have decided to close all of the restaurants within CityCenter. But you know what? I'm not aware of a single place where it's written in stone that a world class resort must have restaurants. There's just no hard-and-fast rule that says we have to serve food."

Baldwin also revealed that other cost saving measures are in the works. "Sometime in late spring, we intend to cease hotel operations at CityCenter," said Baldwin.

Workers have already begun erecting a sign with the resort's new name, "Slots-A-Fun Too".


World renowned singer Celine Dion made her triumphant return to Caesars Palace last Wednesday, after a lay off of over three years. A crowd estimated to be in the thousands, as well as throngs of media, gathered at Dion's first public appearance in Las Vegas since December 15, 2007.

The assembled masses were not kept waiting long, as the instant Dion opened her mouth, it became obvious that she still retained her trademark, astonishingly hysterical accent. "Zeety peety pooty poo," she was heard to say, as the crowd struggled to suppress its laughter.

Seemingly unaware, Dion continued, "Zootu peepee zootu poopoo zootu peepee poopoo poo!"

Tickets for more of her Frenchy gibberish are available at the Caesars Palace box office.

CORRECTIONS - Typographical errors in both the Dining and Police Blotter Sections of our last edition made it appear as though a severed head was found in the middle of the dessert, and chocolate ganache was found in the middle of the desert. In fact, it was the other way around. We regret any inconvenience this may have caused.

Tagged: misnomer   


Comments & Discussion:

That's funny, I heard that CityCenter had just signed a deal to put a Waffle House, a Zaxby's, a Panda Express, and a Whataburger into Aria.....

Let me start with your corrections.....ahhhh nevermind

funny shit my friend

I like the cheese and crackers. It feels very welcoming.

@Dave702 It must be from the menu at La Cave.

It's heartwarming to see CET helping the servants of the public fully embrace the concept of OPM. Someone should nominate them for a Nobel prize.

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