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Skylofts Launches Brand New Website That Doesn't Load

By Chuckmonster on Saturday, 3rd July 2010 4:12am
  » filed under MGM Mirage  comments: 12


Dear Wynn Las Vegas, we apologize. After nearly a year of busting your chops about how pathetically slow your website is to load, your friends down the street on top of the MGM Grand - the Skylofts - have raised the bar so high the FAA has been forced to reroute inbound flight traffic around it. Your sins have been absolved... after you put a mute button on the Spa jams and The Steve's mouth.

Using a 4 month old iMac, on a corporate sized net pipe, running the latest version of Safari with recently updated Flash plugin, the Skylofts website takes 4.3 minutes to load, and this is just the friggin' video walkthrough splash page. I compared load times using a different browser - Google Chrome - and gave up after three minutes of no response from the server.

When it does finally load, there is a two minute long video montage. The design features a fake scalable "corner glow" over which the Skylofts logo is superimposed. It could be a fault of the flash or the way the designers imported the logo, but the fonts look aliased and incredibly weak. There is a button next to the logo with a label that I can't read (For Le Cream?). Below the video screen is another button that will send me to the Low Bandwidth HTML version. How nice of them to be so thoughtful AFTER I've wasted five minutes of my life waiting for the goddamn thing to load.

If this is any indication, do I really want to Enter the Skylofts Experience????? Shrug.

Four minutes later, this page loads with the soundtrack of Natalie Cole's "Summer Fun" blasting out of my speakers. I tried to click on some of the arrows but nothing happened... for four minutes. Until this page loaded:

Nearly twenty minutes into this I accidentally stumbled across that interesting navigation sphere thing. While goofing around with it, I ended up clicking on a link to a photo taken from the Skylofts window. After about two minutes, a broken looking modal window loaded with 2 inches of the MGM Grand roof logo aligned to the right. While trying to dismiss the modal window, I found out by sheer accident that the Green Monster was the left edge of the panorama which stretches all the way to the north side of the MGM Grand. Along the way there, various buildings have (+) marks which anchor mini popup blimps with the name of the property. Some of them are completely wrong.

Ooops. That (+) is the Cosmopolitan, not City Center. The one to the left is Caesars Palace, not Bellagio, the one on Planet Hollywood is labeled Mirage.

At this point, I tapped out on any further excavation of the Skyloft's shit website. Y'all are on your own now... should you accept this challenge, remember to pack a lunch. We'll keep an eye out for flares.

Thanks to Mike E for the tip?

Tagged: skylofts   internets   websites   mgm grand   cosmopolitan   


Comments & Discussion:

it's already down. (facepalms a lion)

Exactly... wait for it. Eventually it will load... look at the status bar.

Hm.. link took me to the old website..

if i get to the menu, and that's an if...it's fun to jiggle the mouse. make her a cups not move as they move.

Must be the new macbook here, but it loaded right away for me. Maybe it's the holiday. Maybe it's the lack of traffic at 9am.

I'm having no issues loading it either (Speedtest shows my connection as being 22.37 Mb/s Down 3.67 Mb/s Up.) so perhaps it may the lack of traffic to that site at 10:15AM EDT on a holiday weekend or they fixed it after someone from MGM noticed the topic here.

Didn't work at 9AM EDT but works now and loaded extremely fast. Impressive site. Maybe MGM still has some fight left in it. I'd like to try it, but I'm no Mike_E.

Less than 4 seconds on my four year old PC via Cox cable.

It think you need to lose the Koolaid and get a better computer.

@andy i've been using apple computers since 1982, were you even born in 1982?

its only apple gadgets that have issues, solely because they dont run osx

osx = win

I'll assume you are crossed a bit there Kage.

i like OSX, but not steve jobs or apple gadgets (non touch ipods are ok)

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