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Why This E-Mail From The Mirage Bites

By JohnH on Saturday, 3rd July 2010 1:27am
  » filed under Las Vegas  comments: 8


We at VT aren't the sort that normally post transcripts of articles, press releases, or hotel promotions verbatim to our site. Quite honestly, we have too much respect for you lovely bunch of readers out there to post mass hotel e-mails that you've already got sitting in your inbox, and more importantly, we just don't have the time, money, or MGM shareholder-like patience to invest in fighting the LVRJ. However, every once in a while, an e-mail so egregious finds its way into our inbox that we just can't resist.

Well, file this Mirage e-mail under the "We've really got no better ideas" column. Before we really tear into it, though, take a quick read. (We'll wait.)

Really? Really? You've exhausted your database of chodes, budget customers, and Terry Fator fans to the point that your marketing to Twihards (I know so little about Twilight that I had to look the term up)? More to the point, you had to add salt to our metaphorical wound with puns? Puns?

Screw it. We're not going to endlessly ridicule the thing with tasteless jokes about how even Kim Vo himself couldn't save Robert Pattinson's hair or Larry King interviewing Taylor Lautner in a Mirage Spa whirlpool - in our minds, Rear Adm. King wears the suspenders in the hot tub - but instead, we're just going to ask one simple question: Why? Why market to a bunch of overweight, sex-starved and underaged girls who could care less? More to the point, why market to a demographic that so clearly conflicts with your target "Douche-to-the-point-that-we-think-JET-is-cool" crowd? Why?

Tagged: mirage   twilight   larry king   hot tubs   


Comments & Discussion:

The "Create Your Own Love Triangle" package should include some kind of waxing option.

I guess they're waiting to use those skanky Kardashian sister as the basis of an email offer until they've officially hit the bottom of the idea barrel.

I miss the days when Vampires were blood thirsty killers, not gay metrosexuals that cry when their girlfriend falls in love with an equally gay Wereworlf, and casino marketing used to give stuff away that people wanted (cheap/free rooms, free food, etc). Oh well, tis the new age I guess. I'm gonna go watch "Near Dark" and "Casino" back to back just to feel better about myself now.

Why? Because the "Douche-to-the-point-that-we-think-JET-is-cool" crowd bolted for Encore.

actually, since you arent familiar with this crap, i will fill you in. the details are kinda creepy when you think about it...here goes:

yes the books are geared towards middle school and high school girls.
yes they've made 3 of the 4 books into movies.

since the target audience is girls who are too young to drive, guess who takes them to the movies - mom.

mom sees "dreamy" (and yes i use that term loosely) vampire guy and "dreamy" werewolf guy who squints a lot, and gets moist panties.

release next movie, repeat process.
you wouldn't believe the number of middle aged women who read the books and go to these movies. there are actual "cougars for [insert name of gay guy's vampire character here}" groups all over.

so no, they're not catering to 12 year olds in the ad, but their moms. it actually makes a lot of sense.

dammit, wrong link....redact previous...insert this...


I don't see the big deal. These spas and salons need any kind of customer they can get to be willing to pay the much higher rates for similar or worse service that can be found in non-resort settings around town.

I thought I'd get a haircut at one of these places, then found out how much I'm paying for a stylist who has, according to the hiring form, a minimum of something like 18 months experience.

I now understand why my wife took hid all sharp objects before we watched the first movie. If I walk into the Mirage and see they've added a party pit with sparkly, effeminate, "Vampires", I'll be the guy getting walked out the door after dousing them with my "Holy Water." I'm not one to tell people what to do with their money, HOWEVER, $230 for a shave and a haircut? If you do this, don't be posting a trip report whining about the frat party crowd in Vegas. You deserve to be surrounded by DB's at Christian Audiger / Jet / Encore.

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