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Clubpimpers: The New Vegas Bottom Feeders

By Chuckmonster on Thursday, 11th March 2010 11:43am
  » filed under Las Vegas  comments: 7


Vegas Club Pimpers

Clubpimpers : The new maggots.

You've seen them, perhaps you've talked to them. They tend to hang out in the same circles as porn slappers, but dress a little nicer, shave a little less and speak more English. Instead of slap slap slapping starry nippled "collectible trading cards" into your hand they hawk glossy business cards disguising as "line passes" to the hottest nightclubs in town.

These are Clubpimpers, the new maggots.

During a recent trip, we encountered a pack of these greaseballs outside of The CVS that CityCenter Built Around. While making our way past (en route to Gonzalez Y Gonzalez for some high powered Cadillac margaritas) we became casually engaged in the heated conclusion of negotiations between a clubpimper and a pack of prospective douchebag clients.

Clubpimper: "Where's my motherfuckin tip? You come up to me and want 12 passes to The Bank? You aren't gonna get em till you give me a motherfuckin tip! Give me my MOTHER FUCKING TIP and THEN I'll give you the passes MOTHER FUCKER!"

At this point, a war broke out: Clubpimpers vs. Douchebags, scattering tourists onto Las Vegas Boulevard and sending pornslappers to higher ground.

The moral decision couldn't be any harder... should call the cops to come break up this brawl? The thought never crossed my mind. My mind is on the money, in this battle royale of boneheads, who am I going to put my money on - random douchebags or clubpimp rip off artists? Margaritas. And off we went.

Seriously, when you spend money on a glossy business card that purports to be a "line pass" from someone who looks and acts like a stereotypical ticket scalping loser, there is a damn good chance you've just bought yourself an expensive glossy business card souvenir of yet another Vegas mistake.

Boycott Clubpimpers!



Comments & Discussion:

One evening while walking in front of Monte Carlo, we noticed an individual looming in the shadows with a handful of those glossy cards. We initially assumed he was a time share representative, and were prepared to respond to any verbal contact with a phrase in Russian or Gaelic (hoping that is one of the languages not many speak out there) and move on before the guy could process what just happened. However, he was abnormally aggressive and came at us with a hint of desperation to his side. Before we could get ahead of him, he began yelling "hey" to get our attention. My husband responded with "We're not interested." It never matters what it is, we're not interested. Next thing I know, this moron has grabbed by husband by the shirt sleeve and is fiercely trying to plead his case. HUGE mistake. Why on this or any other planet lay a hand on a total stranger, especially coming at us like he did. I recognized the look in my husband's eye and quickly smacked this jerk's hand off him. Several 4 letter words later, we were on our way and behind us, the man bellowed with his arms stretched open "IT'S NOT TIME SHARES! IT'S CLUB PASSES!" We've never had any porn slappers or time share individuals touch us...this was a brazen and desperate move. I'm not sure if this individual is still alive, considering his methods.

I've already been ignored by porn slappers. If clubpimpers ignore me too, then I'll know I'm a loser. Sigh.

I have thought for a while the clubpimpers were a million times worse than the pornslappers and the timeshare people.

The porn slappers don't talk to you, the timeshare people will usually walk away when you say no, but the clubpimpers are uber agressive.

They will yell at you if you don't stop and look at their "line passes", all of which say "not for sale" on them somewhere. How people are stupid enough to give those DB's money amazes me.

There is also another breed taking over the strip, the stripclubpimps, they offer you a limo ride or free ride and free cover/drink to the club, they are even more agressive than the clubpimps. Most times they will ask you nicely, and if you ignore them they will yell at you to go to the club, and if you keep ignoring them they will call you some sort of homophobic slur. I will usually put them in their place by either asking if they can get me into the Men of OG, or I ask them about which club they would reccomend, and then when they get all excited that I'm going let them take me, I ask if my las vegas ID works for cover, they get pissed!!!

Just another reason why the club scene has ruined Vegas.

All of these years, I must have been mistaken as to how the PornSlappers get away with what they're doing. Everyone that I take to Vegas asks me why they 'slap' the cards. I explain (as was explained to me years ago when I first started going to Vegas) was that if they did anything more, it was considered solicitation / harassment. Something about a loop hole (that's what she said).

Now, I've really put 2 & 2 together. Why do the ClubPimpers get to hoot & holler? Can anyone explain the 'slap' to me now???

I'm not going to argue the fact that they're sleazeballs and scammers, but I will play devils advocate for a minute... We crossed one on our way to XS, and for some reason I took him up on his offer (I blame my poor judgement on alcohol). He was actually pretty polite, but also blatantly said he accepted tips. Right after we parted ways I realized they probably wouldn't work at the door and I was scammed. Low and behold we get there, hand the passes over, and go right in while others were ushered to pay cover. Granted it was a weekday, but I felt like I did get my money's worth since I encountered no legit promoters on the way in.


a little new info in these articles, and a pic of a desert at shaboo.

mostly looking forward to kevineats' next vegas trip though. :D

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