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Vegas Feet

By BlackHillsBoozeHound on Friday, 26th February 2010 4:08am
  » filed under Las Vegas  comments: 17


Fuckin Vegas Feet, man. You know what I'm talking about - even if you're familiar with the Strip and should know better, you head off walking for a place because, due to insidious architecture design, it looks so close. You think to yourself, "Hell yeah, maybe a stop for a quick drink along the way, I can make that, no problem." Four drinks and six blisters later, you arrive at your destination. In about an hour your feet start to ache. The following day, your dogs aren't just barking, they're snarling, likewise your calves, thighs, and a plethora of other muscles you haven't used since your last Las Vegas misadventure.

I assure you, being built like a fat John Goodman only compounds this situation.

I'm too germophobic to do buses and shuttles, generally too cheap for cabs, and have not quite yet reached the point of needing to see Clark County's temporary wards first-hand by risking a DUI in a rental car. So that pretty much leaves the Monorail (which for some reason seems cleaner than your typical bus or shuttle, perhaps it's just an illusion brought on by the elevation) and The Shoe-Leather Express. Even if you're just wandering around your home-base casino, you're still putting on a lot of extra mileage, especially if you're staying at the MGM Grand. It can be a three-day pilgrimage just to get to your room to drop off your luggage.

I won't tell you to buy comfortable shoes and line them with some manner of Dr. Scholl's product so you can be gellin' like a felon. You've already got that covered. I wanna talk to you about bananas.

Potassium is excellent for sore muscles thanks to some manner of science I stand no hope of understanding, and just as the Strip is loaded with bad video poker paytables, so are bananas rich sources of potassium. Thanks to hippies and trophy wives, buffets are generally well-stocked with all manner of healthy bullshit, including bananas. And since you're already at the buffet, might as well grab one (and, what the hell, an extra for later, too). The added benefit is that bananas also contain an assload of fiber, which will make you feel full faster, and you may go home from the trip only having gained five pounds instead of seven.

Of course, you don't want to stake your entire claim on a fruit that nobody fully trusts. A nurse friend recommends a couple of ibuprofen just before bed after doing any strenuous activity to which you are unaccustomed; this tends to help keep hangovers at bay, too. You're paying the resort fees anyway, go soak your tootsies in the hot tub. And then, on the way back to your room, shell out the $23 for a nice cold bottle of water from the gift shop, and once you're back in your room (or not, no judgments), roll the bottle back and forth on the bottoms of your feet.

There are all manner of ministrations and balms you can pick up to treat the feet. My better half found some sort of peppermint foot lotion in The Forum Shops at Caesars that worked quite well; I didn't see which store it was in which she purchased it, as I was distracted by counting the number of people leaving Fat Tuesday with big sugary drinks and what had to have been fake IDs. But suffice to say, the store was by Fat Tuesday, and as I recall, the merchandise came in a bag that I wanted no part of (pink polka dots or some such).

We never leave for a trip without a couple sheets of moleskin in our bags. It's inexpensive, effective, and can be cut to any size. It has helped to ward off countless blisters.

I'd love to see some of your own tips posted below so as to add them to our own arsenal. And if you leave this piece remembering but one tip, let it be bananas. If anyone in the buffet line looks at you funny, glare at them menacingly, and tell 'em Boozehouse sent ya.



Comments & Discussion:

Isn't that the truth! Everything does look sooo close until you walk it here in Vegas.

"...due to insidious architecture design, it looks so close." Yeah, our favorite catch phrase in Vegas is "It's only a couple o' blocks!"

Hyrdration still plays the biggest role for me and planning. Vegas can be such an assault on the system that it's imperative to keep over hydrated. Banana, ibuprofen, and Dr. Sholls' are all things I do as well when I'm there, and I can say as I get older and continue subjecting the body to the Vegas gauntlet they help out across the board, not just for the feet. But good advice for them.

Band-Aid Blister Block is great. Put it on before you go out & it helps prevent the rubbing that cause blisters. When we go out to dinner somewhere other than where we 're staying, I wear flats & carry my heels because walking from self-park garages thru casinos to restaurants in 4 inch heels just doesn't work.

I don't have this problem.

I'm not exactly the greatest walker, either. I have a sorta busted ankle, even.

After many painful experiences, I now go into training for a couple weeks before my Vegas trips. This includes progressively longer walks with various footwear to build up my maximum comfortable walking distance. My biggest trouble is going on a drunken walkabout at night when I'm wearing dress shoes for dinner and bar hopping.

Vegas Feet are Happy Feet! (usually)

I feel remiss in not actually coming right out and saying that alcohol can be used as a sedative, but hope that it was assumed. Added benefit: it helps you to make so much more interesting decisions than you would have sober.

i only usually notice the pain in my feet when i stop all the walking and play craps. all the standing at the table tends to take it's toll more than the walking. I've even kicked off my shoes at the table and stood around barefoot or in socks waiting for my turn to shoot.

yes i know a few casinos have the half-tables with seats, but it's just not the same.

So who do those Chucks belong to? Hunter?

Keeping properly hydrated and in electrolyte balance (i.e., potassium) is important, but good shoes is a must. Guys have more options here. Chuck Taylors and other flat arch shoes are not good. Comfortable, but not made for walking. If you can afford a decent room on the Strip, you can afford a pair of Eccos or Mephistos. Born is a winner in the mid-price range. Or you can always go for the Jerry Seinfeld look and walk around in running shoes.

One of my first trips to Las Vegas, I was heading from Stardust to LV Hilton. I look at my wife (girl friend at the time) and said " we can skip the cab, look it's right over there. Lets walk" And it was the middle of August. Wow....that was not a good idea. Even when we finally made it to the beginning of the Hilton drive way, we still had a long walk. We spent the rest of the day at Quarks bar.

On my first trip back to Vegas in 2004 a buddy and I went to the Stratosphere and after going to the top we decided to walk back to our hotel-the Aladdin. We didnt think it would be that far but it was. When we got back to the hotel about 40 or so minutes later we had to sit down for a long while. From that day forward we have called the experience 'the walk of death'. The heat wasnt an issue because it was in October but the next trip in he made his wife repeat our experience. I walk a lot when in Vegas and am a nice sized guy but the walking doesnt seem to bother me since i wear comfortable shoes.

Another thing I do when in Vegas or anywhere where I will be doing lots of walking or standing, especially for multiple days, is to change shoes as often as possible. There is something about wearing a different shoe, that helps the feet adjust.

I also make sure I wear 100% cotton socks, so that my feet can "breath" and the socks can absorb any moisture

Great tip on the mole skin. I know that I always have the bad habit of forgetting this tip and end up borrowing from KungFu April and Boozehouse. Another tip that I got strait from the Boozehouse is similar to the tip to wear cotton socks. If you have a chance, pick up some wool or alpaca socks. If your a larger man like myself who doesn't want to take your shirt off in the hot tub in fear of drawing attention to your man boobs, try doing the 20 dollar trick to get a bigger bath tub.

Nike dri-fit socks are heavenly.
My SIL are going together in April and were just shopping for sandals and were thinking maybe we're more prone to blisters from the dry heat? We're used to a LOT more humidity here in the NW.
Where do you get the moleskin?

Some good tips indeed - I did forget to mention socks: the last trip, I went with all thick, wool socks, and those bought me about a day. Thanks for mentioning, Rich!

Moleskin is available in the foot care section of most drug- and grocery stores, but you'll probably have to find it yourself - it has been my experience that if you ask one of the people who work there where the moleskin is, you'll get a look as though you had asked for panda spleens.

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