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Black Hills Booozehound and the Circus Circus of Doom (A Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Column)

By BlackHillsBoozeHound on Thursday, 18th February 2010 12:25pm
  » filed under Mergers & Acquisitions  comments: 6

   

This may come as a surprise to some of you, but I collect shot glasses from my journeys. I know! I'll give you a moment to recover from the shock. But it makes perfect sense when you take into account that it's one of the few things at-hand when I recover from passing out (I initially considered collecting semi-dried puddles of vomit, but where to store?). When it comes to commemorative Vegas glasses, our collection is far from complete, but it's getting there. You wouldn't want to play Drink the Strip at our place, as it would meet with results similar to those attempting the real-life version of the game (you know who you are).

Between the title and what you've doubtless calculated as the place that would pose your personal onus, you already know where this is going. That's right, it was time to get the dreaded Circus Circus shot glass. Sure, I could avoid the stop altogether and just get one online somewhere, but then the C2 glass would sit there in the display case smugly mocking me. "You were too scared to come and get me yourself. Coward."

We decided to attempt this during one of our annual Brendlechowski & Friends Christmas Extravaganzas (t-shirts sold separately), as misery loves company. With our stalwart companions Rapid Rich and G Dawg, we headed Lucky's way. With a mental wink to Family Dressen as we walked past Things & Stuff, I was both pleased and alarmed to discover the place had barely changed since I had been there as a child (my grandparents broke the cardinal rule about not bringing children to Vegas). Except, of course, having arrived by horseless carriage this time. How convenient not to have to store my buggy whip!

We needed to deaden our senses as quickly as possible, so figured we'd do so with overexposure. To this end, we headed straight for the mezzanine. We sat down to play one of those horrible midway games featuring rolling balls, camels with hip displasia, and four adults getting more excited about a midway game than they should.

After a few rounds, somewhat inured to the flashing lights and noises, we wandered around the level a bit, and I hate to admit it: we were having fun. A lot of it. This seemed like a bad sign, so we went off in search of our holy grail.

The next thing that became evident was the convenience. We didn't have to trek off to some gift shop tucked away in an obscure corner of the casino. There was an official imperial fuckload of branded shot glasses sitting proudly on a shelf at a casino bar. Why were they sitting proudly? These were no ordinary shot glasses, my friend. They had BMW technology.

According to the bartender, who was a credit to his profession in both speed of cocktailery and being affable like you expect a bartender to be, the shot glasses were developed with the same science that BMWs use to determine when to close an open but unattended moon roof. A moisture sensor activates the mechanism to close the moon roof if it starts raining, and some douchebag drives home to his soulless Stepford family on dry leather seats.

But, like just about anything, technology becomes far more interesting when you incorporate booze. The bartender poured the shots into our new souvenirs, and they sprung to life in a swirling LED display. And as any frat boy will tell you, the best thing in the world is to draw attention to yourself when you're consuming alcohol.

So how does the shot glass look next to its colleagues? Well, it's plastic. But from Circus Circus, I would expect nothing less.

Riviera, you're next. And I'm gonna tell you Boozehouse sent me.



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Comments & Discussion:

Nice story. I used to collect the ceramic drink mug souvenirs from each of the properties. I think I had about 20 of them before I gave up and sold them in a garage sale.

The last name in your reunion reminds me of Carl's last name from Aqua Tenn Hunger Force....Bratanalanalewski.

Ha - nice Rockchick! It's actually a portmanteau of Brendle & Kruchowski, the two families who diligently arrange that shit. All others are either friend or family, though we'd gladly bring along a bitter enemy to subject him or her to our collective hostility...

I might have to start collecting Vegas shot glasses too, I did have to have one a couple years ago from the IP. I got a shot at the new Karaoke club, and they gave me a Tequila Joe's shot glass. After asking whether I could buy the glass, and being rejected. I decided that cargo pants pockets are made for a reason and pocketed it.

It was an impulse decision, but considering that on the trip we conceived our daughter after about a year and a half of fertility issues, we had spent just about every night at the downstairs tequila joes before 'retiring' for the night. I had to have it.

Why does modern medicine refute the curative properties of tequila? Oh yeah, the destructive properties of tequila. *sigh*

All I remember about Riviera was trying to put quarters in the token slot then trying to play that snowboarding game while drunk.



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