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Mailbag: 'I Stole From The Alladin Hotel'

By Chuckmonster on Monday, 11th January 2010 6:14pm
  » filed under Las Vegas  comments: 6


Every so often, we get a real doozy in our inbox that we just have to share with y'all. This letter is - by a mile - one of the dooziest. Enjoy!

I stole from the alladin hotel when I stayed there in 1995 and I was pretty brazen about it. I want the owners to know Im sorry, I was a stupid 20 yr old at that time and I want to repay them for not hurting me for doing so. Please tell me who I can pay back my debt too.

Kindest regards,
BC canada

Dear TB,

Asking for forgiveness is usually reason enough absolve you of the transgressions you may have afflicted upon Aladdin hotel.

The good news: Aladdin hotel & casino (then owned by London Clubs International) went through bankruptcy protection & reorganization in 2001 where it was purchased by OpBiz - a consortium of turd polishers headed by Planet Hollywood Honcho Robert Earl, Bay Harbour Management and Starwood Hotels. The hotel was completely renovated and renamed Planet Hollywood. Theoretically, your debt is owned to a company that does not exist anymore.

The bad news: within the next two weeks Planet Hollywood/OpBiz as we know it will cease to exist when the property is taken over by Harrah's Entertainment. Harrah's Entertainment bought London Clubs International, the company you owe your theoretical debt to, in 2006.

Unless you stole something expensive or a large amount of cash, chances are that nobody at Planet Hollywood gives crap. However, karma requires you to atone for your sins and VT's Senior Editor of Science and Relgion, Fr. Frank Z. O'Reilly suggests you complete the following penance in before full absolution can be granted:

  • Treat two friends to dinner at Buca Di Beppo (Seattle is closest to you) Order the Chicken Canneloni.
  • Watch all 67 episodes of "Moonlighting"
  • Make this song your ringtone.
  • Watch Stop of My Mom Will Shoot!
  • Watch 21 21 times.
  • Take notes. There will be a test

You have been forgiven.



Comments & Discussion:

What a tease. This happen 15 years ago? They could at least give us the juicy details. What did they take exactly? Did they take the bed, and television?

Maybe you'll get one of these letters in 15 years from the bastards who stole one of the heads off the Lalanne turtledoves out in front of Crystals, thus causing the whole installation to be removed.

Father, since the confessional is open, I've always felt kinda bad about peeing in the stairwell at Imperial Palace about 18 years ago. What shall be my penance?

Misnomer, my son, you will have no penance, since your action will never be noticed and no harm was done to the building. Bless you.

Moonlighting only had 67 episodes?

I took a lot of stuff from the place before the change (cups and pens) and bought stuff once the deal went down (wearing a desert passage shirt now) and dont feel guilty so since we dont know just what it is he stole (a bed, a room key, a craps table) he should be cool. and yes moonlighting only went that many episodes because the show lost it around year three

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