Home » VT News » The Best (Worst) of Vegas Douchebaggery, Episode 3
The Best (Worst) of Vegas Douchebaggery, Episode 3
Believe me, writing about the spray-on orange tan crowd is more difficult than I would have ever imagined. How does one creatively express his feelings and at the same time inventively insult these asshats? Taints, ed hardons, dicklords - we're keeping the terms fresh and practically writing the thesaurus on "douche". Not an easy task.
But sometimes, I stumble across a gold mine that practically does all the writing for me. Today's installment comes from a Special Advertising Section promoting Luxor in the pages of the November 2009 issue of Details magazine. Here's the scan:
My chodar (chode radar) nearly overheats at the sight of Criss Angel, but the real goods are on the bottom left.
Dear Details, I rely on you and GQ to inform the Affliction crowd that skinny ties only work with narrow collared coats, white tie affairs are a completely different animal than black, and that similar patterns must only be layered if they vary in size. In short, you bring style and substance to men who don't know the difference between Hermes and herpes.
But then you go and do this. Your "Guide to Luxor Style" practically defines every other guy at LAX on any given night. We're certain that if there were enough room, your "Luxe Life" criteria would have included Axe body spray.
Thanks for making my job easy this time around.
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Comments & Discussion:
Is a cashmere sweater necessary in the desert?
"In short, you bring style and substance to men who don't know the difference between Hermes and herpes."
Mike, that's just brilliant.
Skinny ties...I've been trying to get a hold of one of those forever. WHERE can you buy them at? There's a vintage store by my house that has them but they only come in one color....RED when I need white or ivory.
Thanks Dave.
RockChick, try John Varvatos. They've got a store in the Forum Shops so that should be convenient to you on your next trip. They run a pretty penny, but they also "dimple" beautifully.
Thanks Mike. I've gotta get one before we get to Vegas in December. My boyfriend wants to wear one with his outfit. Doing the whole "punk rockish" look thing for the wedding and he didn't want one of those regular sized ties. He's only going to wear it once (which is why I looked at the vintage store LoL). I'll find one online somewhere. I've Googled "skinny ties" a gazillion times to no avail.
What about fun jeans, like Michael Scott?
If you want to have some fun, wait until around midnight then go to security and tell them that you've lost your friend, a white male of average height and build wearing jeans and a striped shirt. Then get really indignant when they can't pick him out of the crowd.
RockChickX51:
If you want skinny ties, I have a closet full of them. Wide ones, medium, Bow and every fashion trend size since the 60s. I even have a batch that have my initials monogrammed on them, from back when my Mother owned and ran a monogramming shop.
Now dispite what you may think, I am no Douchebag, GQ genius, or pretty boy metrosexual. I am a slighty past middle age, approaching old fart guy who just never gave away his old clothes to Goodwill.
So tell me what you are looking for and I might just dig it out of the closet for you before I leave Atlanta for Vegas next week.
So then that russian hooker in Macau did not give me Hermes to take home?
They even have their own commercial now. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tqEBQjWRws
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