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When Parallel Douche Universes Collide

By Chuckmonster on Sunday, 19th April 2009 9:38pm
  » filed under Las Vegas  comments: 0


Spock: Captain, it appears that a collision of parallel douche universes has taken place... on Earth, in a city named Las Vegas.

Kirk: Spock! Please. Tell... me more. I love. Las Vegas.

Spock: Certainly Captain. A certain magician named Criss Angel, performing at Luxor Hotel and Casino, turned the spotlight towards the crowd and introduced Perez Hilton, a man known for drawing on stolen celebrity photos using low quality graphic software and posting them to a 21st century phenomenon called 'the internet.'

Kirk: Oh Yes, Spock. I know of this web you speak of. What was the result of this collision of universes?

Spock: Apparently, Mr. Angel spoke the following words to the crowd when introducing Mr. Hilton:

I have to recognize someone special here in the house. Perez Hilton, please stand up.

We have the world's biggest douchebag asshole in the house!

Spock: Mr. Hilton responded swiftly with:

Thanks for the free tickets.

Spock: Captain, it seems that Mr. Hilton had been microblogging to an internet site called Twitter about how horrible the show was during the performance.

Kirk: And then what happened?

Spock: The earth, has exploded.

Kirk: It's gone? Are there any survivors?

Spock: Negative.

Kirk: Bones, is there anything we can do to save those people?

Bones: Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a Douche Universe Collision Recombinator! They're dead Jim!

Norm!: Read my article to see how it went down.



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