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Happy Birthday Wayne F. Newton!

By Chuckmonster on Friday, 3rd April 2009 2:35pm
  » filed under Wayne F. Newton  comments: 5

   

Today is Wayne Fucking Newtons 67th birthday! Haaaaaaaaaapy Birthday Wayner!

I wonder what is on his birthday list this year.

  1. Cash in an envelope, small bills, delivered to Desert Eagle LLC.
  2. New banjo strings.
  3. A jailbroken iPhone 3G (he uses Verizon)
  4. Gene Simmons' ability to remain famous and wealthy while having little or no acual talent
  5. An Alaskan sex romp with Sarah Palin (it's right near Russia, dontcha know)
  6. An Alaskan sex romp with Sarah Palin's daughter (she's easy)
  7. A gig, singing at Echelon from 2009-2011.
  8. Johnny Carson's mortal coil.
  9. One free resurrection, courtesy of Dr. Fronkensteen, to be performed by Gene Wilder.
  10. Access to a boxing ring so he can finally kick Johnny Carson's ass
  11. New South Park pajamas
  12. The phone number of a tax advisor/accountant.
  13. His points in the Aladdin back.
  14. His showroom at the Flamingo back from Donny & Marie.
  15. A case of AquaNet
  16. His Twitter username back from a squatter
  17. His Wikipedia profile bumped to the front page of Digg, make it happen!

Big thanks to CanadianCrapShooter for reminding us of the big day. How could we forget!



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Comments & Discussion:

FYI, THIS page has been submitted to digg.com. http://digg.com/d1ntfn Maybe VT makes it to the front page some day!

Let's try this again, as I accidentally posted this in an ancient thread.

Add another to the list.

Someone to finally buy his Fokker F28:

http://www.genav.com/AircraftForSale/Fokker/11016.html

Happy Birthday Wayne F. I am an official Wayniac!!!! I hope you make pasta for many years.

saw him twice...once at Stardust and the other time at Flamingo I think and he wasn't bad so for those reasons alone happy birthday Wayne F

Everytime I see his name the only thing I can hear in my brain is, "Holy crap. Wayne Newton's hittin' on Mom!"



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