Home » VT News » Idol's Archuleta : The New Wayne F. Newton

Idol's Archuleta : The New Wayne F. Newton

By Chuckmonster on Wednesday, 7th May 2008 2:16am
  » filed under Wayne F. Newton  comments: 3


David Archuleta = Wayne Newton

Followers of American Idol may remember salt-and-peppered Joe Cocker meets Michael McDonald soul patrolster Taylor Hicks. He won the big TV talent contest show fourteen seasons ago, maybe more, maybe less... we lost count. Mr. Hicks, who was last seen performing Kenny Loggins covers at Maxfields' happy hour in Potsdam, New York, crawled out from under the weight of his semi-failed Idolatry to offer up this chunk of astute observation : Is current dork/fave David Archuleta the next Wayne Fucking Newton?

It is a compelling question, both are talented (?) singers (?) who achieved a degree of notoriety by parleying aloof teenage cuteness (?) and undeniably bland (!) artistic choices to unknowingly culture starved masses. I guess we'll only know Archuleta's mettle when he starts wearing beltbuckles the size of Nebraska, nut-hugging jumpsuits and a pencil thin pre-pubescent 'stache-a-pillar takes up residence on his ballad quivering lips.

If we were in the business of saving humanity from horrible music, we would urge all American Idolators to pick up that phone and speed dial David Archuleta to certain obscurity - winning this years American Idol. Or you could vote for the hippie, the actress or the guy with the 'indie pattern baldness' to be champeeen. One thing is for sure, if Archuleta loses, it's only a matter of time before he's slogging Clay Aiken covers a Harrah's near you.

The world is only big enough for one Wayne F. Newton.



Comments & Discussion:

most boring season least interesting season of idol yet. missmonkay i see nobody from this year's show made IGYBRH...


Seriuously. Boring, fo'shiz.

Everytime I think about adding one as a IGYBRH entry, they get the boot.

That said, JCastro is a HUGE contender, if I cared enough, which I am not sure I do.

To me, he looks like the love child of Wayne F. Newton and Micheal Bublé....

Comments Are Closed

Subscribe via RSS

Recent Comments:

michigan2010 posted: "MGM equals cookie cutter casino. No to reason to step foot in Bellagio again. Just hope they don't screw up..."
» Sayonara Bellagio Table Game Canopies...
saharalv posted: "I wish the editors were the entire electoral college in 2016...."
» Introducing the Trippies Class of...
fatbastard posted: "So many people letting a billionaire live rent free in their heads. Funny. Too bad it also detracts from the..."
» Introducing the Trippies Class of...
wpsteel66 posted: "Total bummer…talk about taking the class and uniqueness away from the Bellagio…another smart move on CEO Jim and making all..."
» Sayonara Bellagio Table Game Canopies...
damania posted: "Is there a podcast?..."
» Introducing the Trippies Class of...

» More Comments