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Meet Wang Fucking Newton

By Chuckmonster on Wednesday, 1st February 2006 5:03pm
  » filed under Las Vegas  comments: 0

   



It's an unlikely combination of sight and sound—a 5-foot-tall Asian guy decked out with big, slick hair and a tux, stroking a debonair mustache, puffing himself up while standing at the farthest end of the Walnut Room.

He points to an imaginary center of the crowd—a lounge lizard-y gesture as perfunctory as a wink—all the while mangling ethnic Asian phraseology, a happily ridiculous piss-take on broken English.

This is Wang Newton.

"Herro."

"Ret's hop aboaaard the Ruv Boat, baaabeee."

"You raaadies are ruvereey."

After several Asian-tinged slings and macho arrows ("Radies ruuv big Wang") Wang Newton—purported Taiwanese nephew of Wayne Newton, rumored bastard child of Connie Chung, cabaret and karaoke host extraordinaire—starts to sing.


Wang Newton's My Space page



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