Review: Las Vegas Little Black Book by David de Montmollin

A Guide to A Guy's Guide To The Perfect Vegas Weekend

Posted by Chuckmonster

The key to catching fish is knowing when and where they feed. During the warmer parts of the day, fish go deep and seldom feed unless an irresistable meal is placed directly in front of them. At dawn and dusk, they move towards shallower and warmer waters in search of easy meals. Bigger catches tend to congregate on the edges of weedbeds, using cover to keep from being eaten as well as hide themselves from suspecting prey.

Poker players use the term "fish" to label easy marks at the table - inexperienced players who provide nourishment in the form of chips to the seasoned veterans. Without fish, seasoned veterans would be forced to eat each other for survival. Sharks eating sharks requires a greater expenditure of energy for both beasts, and more often than not, neither will win, but both will be bloodied and weakened for an even greater predator to eat them both.

In the other "poker room" in Vegas, the fish are women, and the rules to catching them are the same as in the lake or at the table: know where they feed. We don't mean buffets yo. And by "feed" we mean - go out in search of temporary companionship or otherwise.

So let's say you and 4 of your poker buddies live in Cleveland, spend weekends cheering the Browns and one of you knuckleheads decides to get the crew together to go to Vegas for a fishing weekend - fishing for chips and the ladies.

Your SportsCenter crew sits around and talks about it -- days spent alternating between the craps table, sportsbook and poolside blackjack tables. You collectively share fantasies of nights of high-stakes poker, clubbing at the hottest spots on the strip and long late nights putting the pipe to a party of bachelorettes over at a different hotel, sewing the interstate seeds of love with someone you'll never ever see again. This half-time sausage party Vegas fish story devolves into a listing of joints to stay at, a tentative date plan and a ton of high hopes. Of course... the scenario stops there and the trip never happens.

Fortunately for Vegas-challenged ESPN-dorks everywhere there is help, and it's name is: Las Vegas Little Black Book: A Guy's Guide to the Perfect Vegas Weekend, brought to you by David "Mr. Henderson" deMontmollin. Yep, the same David de you know and love from Travel Channel's American Casino, the man with the daiper polished Prowler, the JC1K ultralounge, and more skills than Wayne Shadd.

Prepare to enter Vegas Pimp Bootcamp and have your privates earn their stripes while engaging in front line combat. Remember soldiers, liquor in the front.

Lots of information is crammed in to Las Little Black Book's 245 pages [ ], which will prove to be extremely useful for the Vegas neo-phyte with a penchant for managing a hot dog battalion. From Center Bars to lap dances to where to get the best steaks in Vegas (Circus-Circus) to ordering cigars, every possible scenario a Vegas quarterback may encounter is in this book along with clear and concise play book options to help you lead your team to the big score. With the Las Vegas Little Black Book at hand, your knockwurst brigade will never be left hanging in the wind.

Of course veteran Vegas Trippers will probably know a large percentage of what's in the book, but will still find a few nuggets of goodness well worth its price tag, at the very least to pass onto some of your Paduan Vegas Jedi learners. If you are a "gentleman" who does not identify with "predator male mindset" should skip this book altogether, you'll probably find it offensive. If you have a girlfriend, keep this book out of her sight.

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