Homeless In Vegas: Wayne Fucking Newton

Danke Schoen, Auf Wiedersehn, Danke Schoen

Posted by Chuckmonster

Shhhh. Listen.

Really. Turn off your iTunes or the TV or block out the sounds of your co-workers typing away.

Close your eyes now really listen... i'm not going anywhere.

What do you hear?
Block out the hum of traffic
Ignore churn and chomp of your computer's cooling fan
Focus through the static of the city
Crickets too

Listen to the silence.

This is the silence of a homeless man in Las Vegas....

Wayne Newton.

Few noticed when Wayne's contract at the Hilton expired as quietly as pedestrian traffic on the strip at 7am on a Tuesday in February. With the end of August came the end of Wayne's run and the beginning of his "Entertainer" protege DELISCO's residency. While it was always doubtful that his stay at the Hilton would be re-upped - mostly cause Manilow rules the roost and off nights are reserved for touring acts. Since then, however, six long (or short) weeks have trickled away with not a speck of news about where the great troubador with the pompadour will land next, leaving his legions of Wayniacs in the lurch in much the same way Deadheads crawled under rocks in the wake of Jerry Garcia's death. And with the death of Garcia, came a crashing end to the 60's counter culture - a 30 year long strange trip of acid, freaky music, long weird road trips and calling everybody "Man".

All of this breeds the question... is it possible to have The Vatican without a Pope? McDonalds without the Big Mac? The Strip Without the Flamingo? Las Vegas without Wayne Fucking Newton?

Yes folks... take a minute to reflect on the very true reality that Mr. Las Vegas has NO home in town - no shows, no gigs, no tv shows - a hunka hunka burnin' nuthin' - and very well may never have a permanent residency in Vegas again.

"How dare you!" you may be saying... thats OK. Just think about it. Time to face facts: the days of the lounge headliner are gone. Name one on the strip. Celine? Elton? Manilow? They don't count... they're pop stars with real careers outside of Vegas. Gladys Knight? Clint Holmes? They're exceptions to the rule, in much the way that Folies Bergere and Jubilee are exceptions to the death of the Vegas spectacular in much the same way that probably one or two Cirque du Soleil shows will still be running on the strip in 10 years. The new Vegas entertainment is broadway baby... Avenue Q, Phantom of the Opera, Hairspray, or BONAFIDE headliners - U2, The Stones, Motley Crue (and the montly rumored Michael Jackson and Britney Spears). So where does this leave Wayne? Unemployed, and probably never to see a Stardust-sized contract ever again.

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