Poker Mania : Do You Have The Nuts?

Poker, and the ever growing army of poker dorks, are everywhere

Posted by Chuckmonster

Have you got the nuts to play poker?

After three tournaments and three relatively quick outs, i'm just about ready to admit that online poker is not for me. But it sure is a helluva lotta fun. I decide to scope out the ring games (basically an open table where you sit down with your money and play head to head with whomever is at the table. I find a table .25-50 cent blinds with 5 players all having about $4-11 in front of them with the exception of one person who has $23. I ante up $11 and give it a whirl. Before I know whats happened i'm $3 into a pot with two pair but theres 2 to a flush up on the board and one card left to come. I raise, hoping to scare the others out... nope. River comes the 3rd spade, I check, the other player bets small. I'm pretty much committed to call this .50 cents, which I do and sure enough an ace high flush beats my pairs of Kings and 8s. Shit. I played for another 40 minutes, winning a couple of nice pots getting me up to $17.20 (I made back the buy-in from the earlier tournament!) Of course I should've quit while I was "ahead" but I didn't. The cards and hands and puzzles just keep coming and coming and coming - catered perfectly for a hyper-spastic computer junkie like myself. Eventually, I gave back $10 of those $17 dollars and decided that I had enough. Plus I had enrolled in a "No Buy-In" Freeroll tournament which was starting in 4 minutes. Time enough to take a leak and grab some more snacks. I joined 1000 others in the Freeroll... cards came quick and the first 4 minutes were a non-stop flurry of All-In's leading to some monster stacks surrounding me. I tried to pull the ALL-In thing with an A-Q but got called by Pocket Rockets and the fourth ace showed on the turn. I'm out - 7 minutes in... but I've got the rush. I jump back to the tournament directory to find another $5 tournament, this one starts in 4 minutes. I buy-in, take a safety squirt then head back to the virtual casino living in my computer. Now only if the cocktail service was a little better at this joint.

PokerMania : Have you got the nuts to play poker? Tournament starts. First hand two ALL-In's - I fold - the pot is chopped by two big slicks (A-K). Next hand, another all-in - I fold. Fifth hand, i'm dealt pocket kings. Two players raise, I call. Flop comes K Q 8, RAISE. Other players Raise then call. I call their re-raise. Turn comes: 2d (no flush possibilites on the board). Is this the same hand I had in the first tournament? For some strange reason I started to hear the voices of Mike Sexton and Vince Van Patten narrating the play. Sexton: "Chuckmonster flopped trip Kings... three cowboys... he's a 93% favorite" "Yes, Mike, I can hear the showtunes going off in Chuckmonster's head..." Vince continues. I CHECK... to which Vince continues "he's setting the trap, dug the hole and is putting twigs on top of it." One opponent goes all-in, the second calls, and I call them both and best of all even if I lose, I've still got $500 covering their bets. River comes out 7 of clubs and they're out and I'm up to about 4080 chips and in 5th place of the whole 300 person tournament. Yeeeeeee hawwwww. I decide to sit tight for a little while, only play when I've got great starting hands but still use my dominating chip stack to raise in position to steal some pots or blinds. It's working. Have you got the nuts to play poker?But the other players are starting to beat each other up and their stacks are starting to encroach on the lead i've got. Two players are knocked out quickly, sending two other players into the $3000 chip mark, into their open positions two players with $3500 chip stacks are moved from another table. So much for dominating position - now I've got to start playing for keeps. Overall i'm in 9th chip position and the chip leader at my table, but one or two double ups and I could be in the pack with everyone else. I flop another set of trips (10s) raise... two others call the rest fold. River comes a 2nd spade. I check, one of the other bigger stack players raises - I re-raise. He calls. Flop comes an ace of spades. Opponent checks, I raise, other player re-raises all-in and in a rush without thinking I call, thinking that my trip tens are a winner. BZZZT. Ace high spade flush and my stack is gutted. FUCK! I honestly didn't even see that flush possibility... chalk this one up to sheer inexperience. I got caught not paying attention and paid the price. I quickly went all-in to steal the blinds and all the others folded. Next hand I got a K Q and again went ALL-IN to capture the blinds and antes... one of the big stacks called me and flipped a big slick. A second ace spiked on the river (again!) and I was out. From contender to also-ran in a quick 3 minutes. I bounded from my computer chair, silently muttering about my flush detection mistake and blowing my opportunity to actually place in this tournament. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

So maybe I did do a little bit better today than I did on the first day. But still I was burning through my $50 bankroll at an alarming rate. I needed to chill out for the rest of the night and get this poker off my mind. I decided to turn off the computer for the evening and go watch some TV - Aqua Teen Hungerforce to be exact. Still I clutched the Theory of Poker book... eager to open it, but scared that I would go back to the computer and get basted some more. Slowly the rush began to subside as I vegged out in front of the toob. Fortunately there was no poker match on. Tomorrow was another day, and a Saturday no-less - a full 24 hour block of time all my own. I fell asleep. Zonked.

Coming tomorrow: Chuckmonster's 24 hour poker bonanza.

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