Ace Does Vegas, Blue Moon Style

When I returned to my suite, I rolled a fattie and poured myself a little cup of 'bu n Coke. (Note to self, buy a fucking tall plastic glass and bring it next time, as hotels never seem to have good size drinking glasses in their rooms!) After mixing a drink, slamming it, and mixing another, I sat on the bed and flipped on the TV with drink number two. Much to my surprise channels 12 through 16 were movies of the adult variety. Not regular porn-flicks here, all men all the time. I knew there was adult entertainment available but didn't realize it was FREE. Phat.

Name a hotel on the strip that has that shit gratis, heh.

Feeling buzzed & stoned, I resolved to venture out of my suite. I didn't know what to expect there at the Blue Moon at that hour. The deep red walls and dark brown doors of the hallways were soothing. The asian influence from the artwork and furniture were very zen. This was definitely da-bomb. In a trance, I pressed the elevator button and waited. I looked in the mirror and thought to myself, 'Ace you're so tired. You made it, you drove it, and you did it! VIVA LAS VEGAS!!!' The lift door slid open and I could almost hear the jacuzzi beckoning me as the rickety vibrating cube made its way to the ground floor. The door jolted open and I stumbled straight out of the building to the grotto in the dark. It was lit with the constant flash & glow of The Strip. I tippy-toe tested the water of the pool, it was ice-cold. I eyed the dark corner behind the waterfall and found it was the grotto. An artificial and deep cave with Adirondack chairs circling the back wall. In the ill-lighted grotto, the rocks looked authentic and I felt as if it was holding me in his rocky arms. I tossed my towel onto a chair and jumped in the hot steaming water. My muscles tensed as the bubbles felt so nice on my aching body. I closed my eyes for a moment and let myself soak in the heat. I sat still for what seemed like an eternity, washed away the tension brought about by the six hours of driving. When I opened my eyes I noticed the Stratosphere from where I sat. How conveniently phallic, having the tower rise from behind the fence. I wondered if patrons of the top of the tower have ever gotten an eyeful of the pool area with their binoculars? Keep in mind, folks, this resort has a clothing-optional policy, so that's why I asked myself that question. The tub was getting too hot so I jumped into the adjoining pool, b-b-b-b-boy was it C-C-C-C-COLD, but me being a Minnesota native, it wasn't bad. (Oh, and if you were wondering, yes I wore a bathing suit.) The pool also has a cascading waterfall that goes over the grotto so I took advantage of that and let the water massage my shoulders. It felt so fucking great. I was alone at 3am in the pool with the moon shining above and I didn't have a care in the world. I floated for a while in the cold water and the clouds shrouded the moon turning it into a light shade of blue. I was at home in Vegas. An omen, as this was the Blue Moon.

I tired of the pool and wanted to check out the rest of the facilities, I walked into the side of the hotel and found the shower area and steam room. The steam room was quite large and empty. I sat inside for a while until I couldn't take it anymore and took a nice cool shower. The long drive from LA sure took its toll, and I finally started to relax. By then I had realized I missed this education room, where is it? What was it? I expected a room filled with Martha Stewart magazines and antiquarian editions of Moby Dick. Shakespeare? Homer? Maybe War and Peace, Pride and Prejudice, hell, even The Battle of Bataan. I kind of knew what the room was for, but had to see it for myself. It was located right next to the steam room and it was draped with a green velvet curtain. At first I didn't know what it was, it sort of looked like it may have been a supply room. I opened the curtain a crack and peeked inside then entered a dark room with several sofas and armchairs covered with sheets and two televisions with porn playing. Some education room, huh? As two guys occupied the sofa and were busy with one another, I sat down in the biggest armchair and watched the videos playing on the screen. Watching those two go at it was pretty surreal, like live porn but with bad lighting and bad actors. After a few minutes, in ambled a handsome bearded man. He sat across from the boys playing on the sofa and gave me eyes. Yeah, he liked me. I decided to head to the steam room for a while, hoping that he would follow. Before I knew what happened, it was 5:30 am and I was in the tantalizing man's room, piled in a heap of exhaustion. His name was Ben.

Alas, Captain Ace Ahab did spear the whale.

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