VegasEats: Mermaid's Deep Fried Twinkies/Oreos

We Ate 'Em So You Don't Have To

Posted by Chuckmonster

The Rio's Carnival World Buffet! Golden Gate's $1.99 Shrimp Cocktails! El Cortez' $2.99 breakfast! The old $5.99 twin lobster tail deal at the Sands! The Westward Ho MEGADOG! Have you gorged yourself on enough food yet? Of course not! When Vegas does things, it does things large...

...or strange.

Take these oddities - Deep Fried Twinkies and Deep Fried Oreos served at Mermaids slot parlor on Fremont Street downtown. We've seen the signs for years... Deep Fried Twinkies! "Must be some strange Hawaiian delicacy," I thought - knowing that the downtown grind joints cater to American islanders. How exactly do you deep-fry a Twinkie? Is there an Extra-Crispy option? I guess there's only one way to find out - take your life in hand and eat one goddamnit. So with health insurance card in hand your trusty reporters/guinea pigs headed into Mermaids to take the greasy Twinkie for a test run.

Miss Monkay and I wandered through Mermaids, past the bar to the rear left-hand corner of Mermaids. In front of us stood a small kitchenette with a "B" rating. We looked around the place, marveling at the grease, flour, grime and filth caked on every wall and appliance and turned to each other and said, nearly simultaneously in amused deadpan laced with a dollop of disbelief "They got a B". Behind the counter were two crotchety ladies, one taking orders/cooking and the other putting change from customers' orders into tip jar instead of the register.

We made our way to the counter and looked at the menu: Deep Fried Twinkie 99 cents | Deep Fried Oreos 99 cents. "Which one should we get?" Miss Monkay said. "I dunno," I replied... uneasy about ordering anything from their slim in offering, but not slim in caloric value menu. After a little mulling we decided to get the Twinkie. "We'll have a deep fried Twinkie" Miss Monkay said to the counterperson. She ignored us and moseyed over to the fridge around the corner. Out she came with a Twinkie. "...And some Oreo's too" I added to no acknowledgement from the employee. I figured if we were gonna try one, we might as well try both... eh? The woman behind the counter dropped the Twinkie into a tin of something that looked like pancake batter and came back towards us at the counter to grab plastic gloves (after carrying our Twinkie around barehanded - "B") Miss Monkay re-iterated "we'd like some Oreos too, please." The woman shrugged an "I heard you the first time" shrug and grabbed some Oreos and dumped em into the batter. By this time the Twinkie had already hit the dip and was sizzling away in a deep fryer, which - by the smell of the joint - we could tell hadn't had its oil changed since the Dunes was still standing.

Eventually the Oreos hit the dip and sizzled in tandem with the Twinkie. I began to think, whose idea was it to deep fry a Twinkie? Now really... this thing seems like it's going to be truly disgusting. I'm beginning to get scared. Eventually the Twinks and Oreos were yanked from the grease, smothered in powdered sugar and chocolate sprinkles, plopped on a French fry plate you'd find at a bowling alley and slid down the metallic countertop towards us. The woman manning the register gave us the total... we paid with some singles and change from the sizeable bankroll that we had just won from the Golden Nugget accross the street. The cash register lady put the change in her tip jar, the singles in the register and pocketed a 2ยข overcharge as well - a 'before-your-eyes' microcosmic example of casino skimming in action! We looked down at our "meal" and headed over to the mini tables standing up 5 feet away.

Upon further inspection, we noticed that the Twinkie was impaled with a stick - a deep-fried shish-ka-Twinkie! All of it was piping hot too. We placed the plate on the table, and while taking photos of it, we noticed a family looking over at our deep fried whatever and asking each other questions about it. We invited them over and told them what it was and offered an Oreo to them to try. They refused, but one of the teenage males seemed interested. Miss Monkay and I dug our plastic forks into the pile of sweet grease and took a bite... she the Twinkie, and me the Oreo. The Oreo was actually mushy, and tasted like a sweet chocolately grease ball surrounded by a spongy sugary donut thing. Nothing about it tasted like an Oreo, with the slight exception of a hint of the white sugar stuffing. It took Miss Monkay two stabs with the fork to break through to the creamy filling. We immediately traded looks. It wasn't disgusting, and it wasn't like anything either of us had ever had before, and neither of them tasted like their respective ingredients. I took my fork and dug into the Twinkie... also a spongy fried dough thingy with hot sugar filling and chocolate sprinkles. Very odd. By this time the family near us was studying our concoction with great dedication. Again we offered, and nearly insisted, that they try a piece. The mother came over and grabbed an Oreo, took a small bite and gave the rest to her son who downed it and shook his head in approval. Two or three forkfuls were enough for this lifetime. We threw in the towel and tossed the rest in the trash. It took about 3 minutes before the sugar rush came on. When it did we buzzingly bolted through the casino, made a left towards the Fremont (where we won a nice bankroll at the craps table earlier that day.)

It took barely 10 steps outside of the casino before I had to run to a trash pail to puke. Ok, that didn't happen, but we both had a stomach ache for a bit. Was it worth the two bucks? For giggles yes, for shits... no. Either way, mission accomplished and you don't have to.

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Comments & Discussion

One shakes one's head in DISapproval and nods it in approval.

For the record, I just want to iterate that I did find the twinkie and oreos tasty. They were just super super sweet and lots to eat and when you combine that with an empty stomach, it can tend to make you feel a little ill. But they were GOOD!

I went to Mermaids two weeks ago just for the twinkies. Wow!!! That's all I could say... Wow!!! I've since tried to make them on my own. They turn out OK but the batter just isn't thick enough. Guess I'll keep trying new ones till I get it perfect. And by the way, I deep fried Swiss rolls... mmm.

To bad you guys don't live in the south. We deep fry EVERYTHING here. Especially when you go to the fair, deep friend twinkies, Oreos, Twix, PEPSI (yes deep fried Pepsi, it's pretty much just deep fried batter with Pepsi syrup in it), anything you want can be deep fried. I swear, the fair would deep fry your kid if you wanted them too.

awesome. when i was in scotland i tried a deep friend pizza. and deep fried mars bar. and now that i live in wisconsin it's all about fried cheese curds. do it!!

@vespajet we already did a review of the fried twinkies:

I loved your description of Mermaids and the greasy back corner...just reading it is making my mouth water. But I completely disagree with you about the deep fried delights and I am mourning the wasted greasy goodness you tossed in the trash! The Twinkies and Oreos ARE odd and the taste and texture are not what you would imagine, but they are delicious. Even my boyfriend, who isn't too big on sweets, loves them! I must admit, it is a good idea to stay close to the bathrooms for the next half hour though. You also shouldn't eat alone because the powdered sugar tends to get sucked into your windpipe causing you to choke...
Deep Fried Swiss Cake Rolls sound good!
For 99 cents, why bother trying to cook them at home? Good luck with it!

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