100% Guaranteed Slot Machine Voodoo Maneuvers

Eight Sure Fire Ways To Get Your Photo Taken With A Giant Cardboard Check

Posted by Chuckmonster

Oh Yeah!Any gambler worth their weight in salt will be happy to tell you that there are numerous ways to beat the pants off of the casinos. What most of them won't tell you is that to take down the casinos there is absolutely no need to study betting systems, calculating mathematical probability, hunting out the best paytables or payout percentages, waste time learning basic playing strategies or even know rules of the casino games themselves. To become a truly successful gambler, one has to learn to harness the non-scientific, yet completely true metaphysical laws of slot machine voodoo.

With these eight (at least) tips on harnessing the power of Slot Machine Voodoo - tested using space age VibeLOK algorithms (patent pending) - you can go from zero to hero during your next trip to the casino.

No time consuming classes to sign up for! No messy clutter of gambling strategy books! No eye popping migraines caused by studying the Hold Em odds calculators! No pesky basic strategy cards that you never seem to have when you really need them! Slot Machine Voodoo (with VibeLOK) is easy, portable and 100% guaranteed* to get your photo taken with a giant card board check.

Are you ready to change your life? Let's get learn some slot machine voodoo!

Slot Machine Voodoo Moves

The Wipe

The wipe consists of a quick wiping of the payline window before spinning the wheels. It is 100% effective in warding off all manner of bad mojo when the slot machine just isn't playing nice. For maximum effect... skip the wipe every 7th spin (or 8th if you are in Macau).

Slot Machine Voodoo Moves

The Knock

The Knock is a great way to dislodge a stuck random number generator that isn't producing or playing sustainer games. Be careful not to knock too hard, breaking a slot machine will cause approximately 5-10 years of bad luck (depending on jurisdiction).

Advanced knockers are known to alternate the order of reels knocked. Next time, spice up your knocking with a 3-1-2 or 2-3-1 sequence to throw the machine off. For those playing five or more reels, don't forget to knock all payline windows or the effectiveness of The Knock will be severely decreased.

Slot Machine Voodoo Moves

The Sit

If it works on your dog, it's bound to work on a stupid slot machine right? The Sit maneuver entails ordering a machine's reels to heel at the precise moment you want them to, sorta like a Pachislo machine. The Sit, or Heel works best when accompanied by a verbal order at a volume loud enough for the circuitry to understand over the ringing and buzzing din of the casino.

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Comments & Discussion


Thats freakin funny dude. And us folks who are not US Americans are not allowed to view the video so I'll assume its funny.

@donnymac unfortunately that clip doesn't live anywhere else. do a google search for "proxy server" then use it to come back to this page. it should defeat whatever rules they've placed on the video.

Works as wellas anything else

Ahhhh....The Fix and the Bird.....I know those maneuvers well

You forgot the abracadabra finger wave.

For extra umph add a straight arm punch at the end. LOL : )

Video is viewable in CDA...don't know if we're considered part of the US or not :)

At any rate, have seen the wipe done way too many times--if only it had worked for the poor ladies who did it.

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