Trip Report : I Met DonnyMac and Spyder and Lived

This Ain't Sunnyvale, Bubbles, This Is Vegas

Posted by Chuckmonster

Eventually the posse decided to boogie out of El Cortez and head up Fremont street to see what was shaking, which in this instance was a gaggle of 20 or so drunk MIUAFs (Moms I'm Undecided About F-ing, pronounced MY-WOFs) whose ringleader hollared to us "Where's Hogs and Heifers!" which we pointed them towards. It should be noted that they were being followed by a 'shirtless guy,' who probably put out an APB to other members of The Shirtless Guy MIUAF Club that a slew of drunk persons within the parameters of agreed upon fetishry were on the loose downtown.

We strolled up Fremont Street, discussing the validity of the 'World's Largest Pint Glass' claim posted outside of one of the new(ish) bars there, and wondered amongst ourselves who the tard that selected the elevator music version of some Beatles song that softly serenaded the near empty after hours Fremont Street Experience was. I also learned that DonnyMac is a hugger. He likes to hug. I gave him a hug right then and there and he said to me, mid-embrace "hug it out man. Hug it out." This wasn't some silly man-hug, this was a wrap your arms around you full on teddy bear hug - AND I LIKED IT!

I knew from our interactions on VT that these guys were cool, but I had no idea that they were certifiably awesome. I was aware that they were insane though.


Eventually we ended up at the Plaza, most of us noticing that the moldy hot dog scent of the Plaza is virtually gone. Spyder mentioned that he caught a whiff at the front entrance, I didn't smell it at all. We bellied up to the bar between the showroom and the area that used to be the Omaha Lounge. I noticed that the craps and poker tables that used to be tucked in that corner by the casino cage are gone. I don't visit the Plaza all that often so they may have done this eons ago. They were there a year and a half ago, but now they're on the other end of the casino. Progress!

We ordered another round of drinks. Being dehydrated and running on nothing but coffee, scotch and gummi bears, I decided to order a glass of water, to which the Calgarians all chastized me endlessly. "Yer not wussing out on us now?" "You can put scotch in that water, yknow" on and on and on. I took it like a man, drank my water and ordered a scotch and soda next. Spyder talked at length why Motley Crue is the greatest band ever even though Vince Neil is a dickwad. If only I couldn've convinced them to hop in a cab and head over to Vince's house (he lives in Vegas) so we could tell him and his surgically enhanced man-wife to their faces. Sometime in the middle of this I managed to hit four of a kind (5s) on the video poker machine, which made up for the $40 bucks that got gobbled up at El Cortez.

After another round and a bunch more chit chat, some of the Calgary crew was yawning and ready to head back to their digs at New York-New York (which they, on the whole, weren't too jazzed about). After five or so days of this, I could tell that the DonnyMac/Spyder posse was worn around the edges and probably ready to get the hell outta town. We said our goodbyes and discussed some tentative plans for the 'Oh Lordy, Chuckmonster's Forty' throwdown to be held November 2009 (ps. you're all invited). Donny gave me one last hug in the middle of the casino floor of the Plaza and with that, my new old friends headed out the door to catch a cab to the strip and eventually back to their home.

As I tinkered around the Plaza's casino for the next hour or so reflecting on the days events, I calculated that probably spent more time in the car driving to Vegas that day than I did hanging out with Don, Spyder, Tina, Gordon and their other friend. But time, as an increment of measurement, is a faulty one. While some may spend X amount of time to do Z amount of stuff others spend X minus Y amount of time to have Z to the 5th power amount of fun.

Driving to Vegas and back - about 10 hours in the car within a 24 hour period - was probably a bankrupt idea to begin with. However, with a pot of gold in the middle containing company of the richest sort, one would be a fool to pass up on a jackpot of friendship that will pay off in forevers worth of fun.

Thanks guys. for demonstrating to me without question that there is truth in advertising.

"Life is Fun."

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Comments & Discussion

Well, it would be amiss if I didn't make a few comments about the above "drink" report, since, well I was involved (a lot). Yes it was I who sent Chuck the email, after IMing (is that a word?) with Don one boring Sunday afternoon at work (while Don was indenting his couch with his posterior), but both of us felt it would be a good idea. I think it was, my liver still hurts, I am glad that it was only a coupla hours hanging out with the Chuckmonster not sure if our bodies could handle more, but more would also be good.

Now I know after all the platitudes about Canadian drunks that we get tagged with (and for good reason) this may seem like we were a little "slow" but there is a reason. This was the end of a good 5 day trip, I think I was only pulling about 5 hrs of sleep a day, and as you all read, the one nite was EPIC!!! I was texting with a friend back in Calgary after said nite, and his reply was something along the lines of "wow if liverboy calls it epic, I'm worried..." And that was only the first nite.

A coupla things that Chuck did miss tho, we were accosted by someone who kept calling us "famous" outside the El Craptez, but the security guys were all over him, in a polite fashion and they apologized profusely to us, as they rightly should. Do you not know who we are.... DonnyMac66! Chuckmonster! Spyder! (and the other two, they aren't on this board so they don't really count, until Tina - my much better half - reads this, then I'm in trouble), I mean really, we are FAMOUS, people should be asking for our autographs! And I'm wayyyyyy better lookin than Paris "Gawd I need to throw up I think I gained a half a pound" Hilton!!!

Also wandering around Freemont at about 2ish in the am is a site to be seen, the MUAF's were a small highlite, but shirtless guy!! Damn only in our world, really. I was a little miffed tho that the girls didn't take a run at Chuck and Don, really those two are good lookin men.... I know Chucks a happily married man, but damn! and Don's always been my heterosexual life mate (the lovely T doesn't mind sharing me) But this gaggle of women (and I use that term very loosely, kinda like them?!?!?) should of at least offered to buy the two big fellas a beer at H-n-H, I would have, but alas the two swarthy gentlemen just had to hang out with the rest of us little people at the Plaza.

Now if Chuck had worn his omelet hat, all would have been different I'm sure. The MUAF's woulda had HIS shirt off (a sight I'm not too sure about....) the drinks would have flown freely, the old broads at the El Craptez would have been all over us....... but I digress.

It was awesome finally meeting Chuck and tipping a few back, thank you to his fantastic wife (who is the next to meet, I guess) for making him join us, even if it was for only a coupla hours. And I can't wait for next November, when we can really ruin Vegas, and Chucks liver, and Don's reputation (too late), and my..... I don't think there is anything left on me to wreak. Oh well.

Wait wait wait, did that autographed picture of Wayne Newton come in your room?? Because if that's the case I would've stolen it. I want an autographed picture of Wayne Newton so bad.....

spyder, you're a nut.

rockchik, i brought the photo with me and posed it in the room at the golden gate. you can get autographed pix of wayne on his website. cheap.

I just want the public to know the true "DonnyMac / Spyder Experience". We are thinking of selling to the Hilton to pair up with The Star Trek Experience, really, can't ya just see it? Kirk, Spock, Don, Bones, Jon Luc (the assclown that he is) and me?!? It would be awesome, and this is the debut of my marketing scheme. Thanks Vegastripping, you rule!!!

Sounds like folks had a great time, but all that talk of scotch has me very thirsty all of sudden.

Is there some problem with 2 hetro men hugging????????????? I enjoyed it as well. The service at both the El Co and the Plaza was great. I sincerely hope we can meet up for beverages again before the big 4-0 celebration. Thanks to Chuck for making the long trek from Cali to have some laughs and booze with us. Lets do it again soon (i need a hug)

WHOA! That Wayne Newton photo is tops! I think all VTrippers should carry one to Vegas every time! Sounds like the get-together -- while brief -- was a lot of fun. Did anyone scarf down a deep fried twinkie at Mermaids while you were there?

Believe it or not, Mermaids (while I'm not sure I would actually walk in there) looked closed. But the sign for the deep-fried-crap looked tasty. I'll make sure and try one next time I'm down there

If you will eat the deep fried goo at Mermaids I will buy it for you. When is our next trip by the way?

Did you realize that the phrase "deep fried goo from Mermaids" doesn't really sound that appealing? But I will take you up on the offer, as fer the next trip..... the fall (I hope - you'll have to collect your stanley cup winnings)

By the way Chuck i totally dig the autographed W.F.N. pic and it will travel to Vegas with me.

I had to sign-up just to say that reading this post I feel like I should have been there to offer the chuckmonster alcoholic moral support. Great post and I hope to meet some of you guys sometime - I plan on being there for the 'Oh Lordy'.

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