The Grinders Report: The Mirage

Vegas with less money and less meat - August 2006

Posted by Richie Raviolis

The next morning, at around 9am, we bee-lined for the pool. Like many of the pools in Vegas, the Mirage pool is a beautiful affair, with perfectly manicured tropical shrubbery, waterfalls, and palm trees. The pool itself is quite large and lined with large lounge chairs. We were lucky to find two open chairs in a shady, out-of-the-way area back near the The Dolphin Bar. I wouldn't recommend getting to the pool any later than we did. By the time we settled in it seemed like every chair was taken. Soon people were looking for any free space, like the couple we saw making some space on a small patch of grass under the palm trees.

There is a small pool-side restaurant called The Paradise Cafe where you can enjoy a "continental breakfast, lavish lunch, alluring snacks and exotic drinks," as it says on the Mirage website. But at 9am, that place was packed. We soon realized that maybe we should have gotten something to eat BERORE we claimed our chairs. But then we remembered that on the way to the pool, as we meandered through the shopping area to pick up some cool sun glasses, (you can't be seen pool-side without a cool pair of shades), Melody noticed the Roasted Bean Cafe, a small coffee shop serving "freshly baked French pastries, quiches and unique sandwiches", as noted on the Mirage website.

By this time I was settled into my lounge chair, not reveling in the idea of heading back inside. But Melody graciously volunteered to make the trip for coffee and baked goods, and I lazily accepted her offer.

About 30 minutes later she had not yet returned. I began to wonder what was taking her so long, and not in a "where's-my-damn-breakfast" kind of way, but more in a way that shows genuine concern.

Then, fifteen minutes later, she still hadn't returned.

Had she been taken away by an angry mob of poker players? Did she fall head-first into the tiger exhibit over at Siegfried & Roy’s Secret Garden and Dolphin Habitat? Did she trip over the leg of the craps table and break her fall with an arm of a slot machine that happened to have three credits on it and win $600 dollars? Before my imagination got carried away any further, Melody came strolling up with two coffees and a bag of delicious pastries. "That line sucked," was all she could say.

We recommend not waiting in line 45 minutes for your morning java. So plan ahead if you want a quick breakfast at the pool. We learned this lesson well, because the next morning we skipped the coffee and pastries altogether and went straight for the Dolphin bar, where we ordered two frozen, rum-ladened Hurricanes in big gulp sized 32 ounce collector's cups with extra fresh fruit on top, (since it was breakfast, afterall). We highly recommend doing this.



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Comments & Discussion


Dude, RAVIOLIS! I thought you were from New York!!!!! How *could* you say that California Pizza Kitchen has good pizza? Cali has turned you soft.

Miss Monkey, Please don't tell my mom!!

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