The Grinders Report: The Mirage

Vegas with less money and less meat - August 2006

Posted by Richie Raviolis

Our most recent trip to Las Vegas was for Chuckmonster and Miss Monkay's wedding festivities in August 2006. I should start by saying that I haven't been to Vegas since 1994, and Melody since 2000, which is like saying you haven't bought a computer since, well, 1994. Lots of things have changed. And like the newest computers, Vegas is faster and more exciting than ever.

I should also note that my lady, Melody, is a vegetarian, so we'll have lots of great veggie recommendations for you and all your non-animal eating friends later in this review. Finding vegetarian food in Vegas was nearly impossible ten years ago, but today it is much easier. Even if you're not willing, or financially able, to step up to one of the many five star restaurants in town, you can still find some decent vegetarian choices.

I'm glad we picked the Mirage. With it's central location and big comfortable rooms, we low-rollers felt like we were living the life of somebody much more important, and with much more money. But not being regular visitors to Vegas, we were easy prey to become overwhelmed when we first entered one of the famously large hotel and casinos in Vegas. And when we entered the Mirage, with it's erupting volcano and bustling lobby, we were wide-eyed and amazed. To get my bearings, I focused on the two life-sized statues of naked mermaids that sit on pedestals immediately inside the entranceway. I noticed how both mermaids were worn around the boobs from so many people rubbing them. This seemed to calm me down, and once I got my bearings, the check-in was swift and easy.

We made our way through the casino to the elevators and up to the twenty-forth floor. We stepped off the elevator and into a Stanley Kubric movie. The halls went off in three directions for what seemed like forever. There was not a soul in sight. Not a single sound. We moved quickly down hall and it seemed to get longer and longer. When we finally arrived at our door we opened it to find a beautiful room with an awesome view of the strip.

Later we met up with Chuckmonster and Miss Monkay at their suite atop Wynn Las Vegas. Wow! Now this is what Vegas is really made of. We're talking about a suite with a living room large enough to host a wedding reception, (which it did the very next day), with big comfy couches and plush carpets. I tell you, this is the kind of room that would make Sinatra wish he were still alive to behold.

Before I move on I should mention that the gambling at the Wynn was a bit rough. I played some slots and lost it hard and fast. Not a place to go for slots if you're only working with a small purse. But the Wynn is certainly worth a walk through just for the grandeur.

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Comments & Discussion

Dude, RAVIOLIS! I thought you were from New York!!!!! How *could* you say that California Pizza Kitchen has good pizza? Cali has turned you soft.

Miss Monkey, Please don't tell my mom!!

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